It's been a while...

So it has been a while since I last wrote on this blog. Four months to be exact. This is what happens when you let life carry you away. I suppose I don't have any real excuse for not writing. Other than I haven't made time to write and haven't felt like expressing the inner monologue. Today I do, as my husband is away on a business trip. I normally blurt out my crazy all over him and have been sensing a build up since late yesterday.

I am sitting in the apartment with no front door. They have spent the last few months upgrading our building with new wiring, new doors, proper fire hoses etc. Apparently we have been living in a building that could have self-combusted, at any moment. Unfortunately they measured our door wrong. Hence I am stuck for many hours without a door and can't leave to go to the gym at my lunch break. So I must sit here and work with drilling and banging pounding in the corridor, which I can see from the living room.

Apart from the door issue all is good. I have been contemplating my employment and my own work recently. I am working through some issues there but other than that all is good. See below for what I have been up to over the last four months.

The Police Concert















Melbourne Weekender















Nothing like watching your husband unlock a security door by slamming his a*se against the door sensor, a proud public moment for us both. (P.S his sensor card was in his wallet)


















Mmmmm, hot cross buns. So lekker.















Easter feast of pancetta wrapped sirloin with taragon, caper and garlic butter, butter and thyme potato stacks, macadamia steamed asparagus and peas.















Earth Hour: An hour by candle light















Calabrese from Ciao Italia in Perth















Crazy wig in antique shop


















Soldiers with boiled eggs at a local cafe















Ate dinner under the Opera House shells















Goodbye old friend (forced removal of a lovely old door)















So as you can see I have been mainly eating over the past few months, with the occasional stop at antique shops, the Opera House, my home city, and enduring embarrassing ass to door antics. I am not a total slacker though, I have been working my behind off, both at work and at the gym. Aaahh the gym, now that is a whole other story.

Ok, so I know this is my third post for the day but...

Ok, so I know this is my third post for the day but...cool things just keep happening. Actually, let me rephrase that, wierd things keep happening.

Earlier today I went for a walk to the post office and on the way a man passed by me, he was readjusting himself (if you know what I mean). Now I don't have a problem with a little 'readjustment' in certain circumstances, like not when men are talking to me or looking at me, but doing it in a hidden corner with a timing of around .2 of a second. But this guy, well he had his whole hand in the trousers, was heading straight towards me on a busy inner city footpath, and the 'readjustment' lasted about...however long it took him to walk 50 metres. Which is waaaayyyy longer than the previous .2 second time limit. I was horrified!

Just now, actually about ten minutes ago, a woman stood directly under my apartment window and dropped her dacks in the middle of the footpath, on a busy Friday night, in a street filled with people. Then she yelled "I am going to vomit!" All I could think was, 'Please, please, please go away, as I don't think I can take seeing your g-string clad a*se as well as your vomit'.

Now I didn't think I was really prudish, but after being exposed to 2 counts of 'readjustment' by both men and women, one involving naked a*se, I have decided that I am a total prude. Though, I am looking forward to the Madri Gras in March, thought any 'readjustments' there I expect would all be made in jest.

...not very xmassy

"You may not want to go into the bathroom for a while"

"Why's that?"

"All that rich Christmas eating has caught up with me"

"Oh God...can you put the fan on or something"

"Well it's not really pongy, more just looks gross"

"Well, that's what the flush button is for love"

"Oh yeh"

Mental Note

Even though the local Pizzeria's Hot Prawns pizza, with king prawns, hot chilli, garlic & herbs seems like a good idea at the time of ordering and consumption. It is never worth it, due to the bathroom agony experienced the following day. All of you remember that!

Promise not to use the "L" word again!

Ok so I finally realised why my last blog was booted from the site, and that was because I used the "L" word in association with a dream I had about a certain actress. Obviously that was a little risque for Blogger, so I promise not to use that word again, until I learn how to design and construct websites and I can have my own little "L" word fest!

So now that I am back it's back to the usual rants and thoughts, that I will now vet swear words and offensive words out of...how boring!

You know sometimes I feel incredibly un-funny…in fact I always feel un-funny. The only time that people generally laugh at or with me is when I do something stupid or say something stupid, not because of an excellent joke, intelligent come-back or a fantastic twist of the English language. Lets face it I am a total goof! A totally exhausted goof!

Speaking of goofy things that make you exhausted, on Monday night a girlfriend and I went to Body Combat, a boxing/kick-boxing class at our gym, we both came out feeling extremely exhausted and have ached ever since (it’s now Wednesday night!). I have been going to the gym regularly since July, and I thought I was getting pretty fit, but I felt like I had been a couch slob my entire life when I was in that class punching/kicking the air, and bouncing on the spot. My poor calf muscles have not yet forgiven me for the torture I had put them through and they still wince every time I take a step, or press in the clutch in the car.

Straight after the class on Monday I came home. took a shower and washed my hair and I could hardly lift my arms up to rub the shampoo and conditioner in! Isn’t that pathetic!! (that’s more of a statement of truth rather than a question, hence the exclamation marks) Even re-adjusting my position on the couch still hurts my arms. I don’t know why we decided that putting ourselves through that torture was a good idea, but I suspect that we will be doing so again next Monday. I have heard that this class, apart from being killer pain producer, it also killer “toight” muscle producer. Which is something I have been trying to achieve for my butt and stomach…wait for it…this is the part where people I know all moan and tell me I am a stick insect. But guess what?! Stick insects still have flabby bits that they aren’t happy with, and my butt and stomache have flabby bits that require a bit of tightening.

You know what’s funny? I can’t remember the point at which the skin on my ass became softer and looser, and my butt began to jiggle more. It has kinda crept up on me in the last two years. The fiancée would tell me otherwise, he like others think I look fabulous, and hey I think I look kinda fabulous too, but everyone has at least one thing that they don’t like about their bodies…isn’t this normal?

There is a girl at my gym who is extremely fit, nothing jiggles when she walks, though I must admit I think she may have rented an apartment at the gym! She is always there, but she looks fabulous. I know what your all thinking, “Well, that doesn’t matter , she is probably a "b***ch”, but actually she seems lovely. She has a great honest smile, and I think that this only makes her seem more beautiful.