This pasta smells like dog

Wife: This tortellini smells like dog.

Husband: What now?

Wife: Yeah, I mean I am a great cook, but this pasta smells like wet dog. So yeah, bon a petite!

Husband: Yeah, I am really looking forward to it now.

What is love? (Number 2)

Husband: I got you a present!

Wife: Really?! What?!

Husband: Look in my bag.

Wife:
(opens bag and pulls out two containers of yoghurt)
Yoghurt?
Quick help me get off my bra!
(said with eye brow raised)
You bought this?

Husband: Nah, they were handing them out for free at the train station.

Wife: Right.

Husband: That's love baby. You love yoghurt!

Gayest saying ever...

Husband: Baby, can you go check if the pasta is Andrew Denton?

Wife: What does that mean?

Husband: It means al dente

Wife: Rrrrriiiigggghhhhttttt.

What is love?

Love; is your husband scrolling through all of the comedy programs for the week on Foxtel to put in a reminder for We Can Be Heroes on Thursday evening. Just because you don't want to miss it.

It's been a bit wet.

Husband: Did you hear that car slide?

Wife: No

Husband: It think I just heard that car slide!

Wife: Really?

Husband: Yeah. Unless it was you blowing your nose. Did you?

Wife: No. Why is that relevant?

Husband: Cause your nose blowing sounds like a car sliding.

Wife: (*explodes into ecstatic laughter) That is the funniest thing I have ever heard! I had no idea that you paid so much attention to my nose blowing.

Husband: Well I do. The car definitely slid then.

Woolies

(Wife stands at the deli in Woolies and orders some ham)

(Husband pulls out the mobile phone and calls wife)

Wife: Hello?

Husband: Hey guess what?!!

Wife: What?

Husband: I just saw this dude with a "I Love you long time" t-shirt. (side splitting laughter)

Wife: Haa haa haa, that shirt is craaazzyyy! (side splitting laughter, whilst deli man looks bemused)

Husband: Ok, that will be all. I am going to buy a doughnut.

Wife: (breathlessly) Ok, I am in Woolies when you're ready.

This is what marriage is all about *wink

Farts and Marriage

Husband: Oh dear god! Do not breathe through your nose!

Wife: You are so lucky that I have a cold. (As she walks away from the stench at the couch to clear the table) Else you might be signing some papers about now.

Husband: Oh my god, my nose is burning!

Wife: Well you brought it on yourself!

Tulips

On the weekend I bought some beautiful tulips, the same ones that we had at our wedding in the bridesmaids boquets and at the reception. They are a lovely brilliant orange with yellow tips. I love them. They are so perfectly rounded and structured, they are living even after they are cut. They continue to grow in the vase, like the cream ones in my boquet that grew about an inch during our wedding day. They also continue to react to light after they are cut, they sleep in the dark and open up when exposed to light.

Hard to beleive that we have been married almost a year.

So I have officially returned...

So I have officially returned from the dead. Well maybe not the dead, but the constancy of 16 hours a day of work, all day, almost everyday. I have started my new part time job at a studio (which I am loving) and have been busy, busy, busy putting out several other print jobs for my own clients. Hence, the lack of writing seen here in recent times.

January was a great, but exhausting month and the beginning of February has been the same. I am hoping to be able to settle a bit more now, and have time to actually wash my hair and cut my toe nails. As I am convinced that people around me are beginning to think that I am incapable of personal hygiene. It’s funny how the little things just fly out the window when you get busy, like my anal-ness about the cleanliness of the apartment, the emptying of the over flowing washing baskets, the ironing of the shirts so that my husband has something to wear to work. You are thinking, “Why doesn’t he iron his own d*mn shirts!” The reason is this, when I see him iron a shirt my skin crawls, because he is not doing it properly d*amn-it! There is a system involved in ironing a shirt to perfection and he doesn’t use the system, and I can’t teach him “the system”, because no one can implement “the system” quite like I can! Now you are thinking “That poor guy actually chooses to be married to this crazy lady?!” Yes, yes he does, because he goes to work looking glorious in perfectly ironed shirts.

Now that I have been blabbing about “the system” I can’t even remember where I was heading with this entry. That is how passionate I am about “the system”. So I will move on to the perfection that has been our Saturday morning so far. It has involved; a glorious sleep in; several glorious coffee’s, sitting on the couch watching J-TV, reading Harper’s Bazaar, Notebook, Instyle, and the newspaper; staying in pyjamas till you reach the point of feeling guilty that you are still in them, when during the working week you would be taking your lunch break about now. Aaah, glorious!

Reflective

I have been feeling very reflective in the last few of days, to allow my brain to catch up with our new life, and all of its new challenges. My poor old brain and heart have taken a beating over the last year really, not necessarily a beating in a bad way, perhaps a description would be ‘a workout’. Yes, ‘a workout’ is definitely what I have experience in the heart and the head department in the past year.

This time a year ago I was working for a design studio, and since then I have:

• Left my job
• Dealt with various family crisis (sad face)
• Started my own business from scratch
• Got married (happy face)
• Moved into a shared office, where I learnt heaps and had heaps of fun.
• Moved out of a shared office (sad face)
• Moved across country, which resulted in losing all physical contact with my best friends, family and newly discovered design guru’s.
• Realised that perhaps I wasn’t as profitable in my business as I wished (fair go though, it’s only been 9 months since I started it)
• Realised that without work face-to-face contact and separation from loved ones, I have in fact become…a loner…oh yes.

Mmm, yes. I know what you are thinking, “poor little brain, poor little heart”. I know that I have my husband here with me in this new town, and believe me he really is my best friend in the whole world. But…each of us need other things/people in our lives other than each other. Unfortunately we have long ago left behind that completely amateur idea/reality of a relationship where all you want to do, is spend time with your partner 24/7. I know, and he knows that this is not healthy for a person’s brain, and heart. We can support and look after each other without being permanently attached at the hip.

So…do I have a plan. Oh yes! I have a plan! I am setting the wheels in motion…perhaps when the time is right I will share the details.

Classic Comment

My husbands response to an Idol Teeny Bopper Singer on a commercial radio station:

"It's like someone just shat in my ear."

We are made for each other.

I love my husband...

A great email that I received from my husband the other day...

hi lovey, how you doing?

smoochies
hug
hug
smooch
*grope*

looked at those mac computers very quickly this morning. seems we could get a 20" one for ~$2,100. We can look again in April/May to check pricing and whether they have ironed out the bugs. you should find out if there is a forum or whatever that updates the issues on the move to the new processors.

He's great!

Lotto hopes dashed…every other week

When the lotto prize reaches above about 9 million dollars, my husband HAS to buy a lotto ticket. After he has bought one, or I have bought one for him, he then sits down and proceeds to list all the things we can do when we win the lotto. Like first we will go on a holiday, then we will buy a house, a new car, take the family to China for the Olympics. All good stuff! The thing is that I have never really been into the lotto; my family aren’t big lotto ticket people. Hence I don’t really see the excitement in buying a piece of paper for 10-15 dollars and then hoping, that out of the millions of people who have also bought a ticket that we will win. Maybe I am a realist but I don’t really think that the chances of winning are that high, at all! But as he says, you have to be in it to win it!

After our discussion of all the cool stuff that we will buy, do and experience I must admit that I do get a bit excited. But I always have to pull myself back to reality and think hang on a sec, this is the lotto, the chances of winning anything are extremely low. After this discussion, I always feel like maybe our current lifestyle is not really good enough. L In reality it is! We are doing great for people in our early/mid twenties, we have minimal debt apart from our giant HECS debts, we own lots of shares, and we studied hard to get good jobs that we love doing, we are married and we are happy! What’s better than that? Well maybe a slightly higher salary would be nice, but we don’t really need to win lotto.

Last year I bought a lotto ticket for us and I won $40 (not much), but the next week I won $120. I caught the bug after that, but only for a week. I bought a ticket the week after that and then we won nothing. See I am happy to be committed to something as long as it is committed to me also! And Lotto YOU FAILED ME!

The only upside to buying a ticket for me is that at least I know I am contributing money to Lottery West. My hard earned Lotto ticket money is helping a lot of charities and community projects, which are funded by Lotto grants. Apart from the extremely distant possibility of winning, the fact that we are donating to a body that makes a difference in this community is the only reason I allow the hubby to keep buying them tickets.

“I love you fart mouth”

Wife: I love you friend
Husband: Whoa, bad breath
Wife: Sorry
Husband: You ate eggs again didn’t you?
Wife: Yeh, for lunch, on toast.
Husband: When you eat eggs, and then breath on me its like you are farting in my face!
Wife: Mmm I love eggs.
Husband: Mmm I don’t like farts.
Wife: I love you friend
Husband: I love you fart mouth.

Something Horrible

So what do you do when something horrible happens to someone close to you, something that you can't express. Something that you have to pretend hasn't happened? I am a talker you see, when I have a problem, I like to discuss it with my fiancee, with my girlfriends and sometimes with my family, but now I can't talk about anything. It's killing me.

Anyway, Christmas has just been and it was nice, not as exciting as when I was a kid, but still nice. I suppose the best bit about Xmas now is spending time with family, not the excitement of Santa and the Xmas Tree and the presents.

My guy and I were discussing how Christmas is effectivley about, and for kids.

When you are a kid you find Xmas so exciting and the world just seems better for that one day a year, and then you grow up and you just don't look forward to it anymore. It's just one of those days that comes round, where you have to prepare with the spending of copious amounts of money, baking and chopping of fruit and pastries. We were discussing that when we eventually have kids that Xmas will probably be fun again! Because then you have someone so important to prepare all that fun and joy for.

So Merry Xmas :)

Irregular

I am sure that I have the most irregular cycle ever! Deciding to give my body a break from the pill is possibly the worst thing I have ever done! Ever since then it has been month after month of irregular cycles and incredible pain. I love being a woman but sometimes when you are laying on the bathroom floor clutching your belly you wonder if it's all worth it!

It's not always just the pain, it's the constant worrying about why I am often so late? The whole saga of, am I pregnant or am I not pregnant, and buying the test and wondering if it's telling you the truth! The worrying, shit we can't have a baby right now!! AAaaah!! It always end up coming, but the anticipation is...well stressful.

Anyway we are safe for now. After another near heart attack.