A couple of months ago I came up in a rash and skin dryness and loss, in my armpits. I got a cream from a crazy eastern European GP and it all went away, or so I thought! The rash did go away, but as soon as I stopped using the cream it came back, and then the other day I looked down at my poor old belly button and inside my belly button was the same rash! So I have started using the cream there too.
Today, my head was decidedly itchy, I had just washed my hair this morning so it was definitely clean. As I was scratching I saw these little snow flake pieces falling from my head! Could it be…NO! Not dandruff!!! F**k no!!! I have never had dandruff, my whole life! I don’t want to use those stinky poo anti-dandruff shampoos! I am quite happy using my lovely brunette enhancing shampoo that smell like lollies! This sucks!
a) My Dad, he has dandruff it must be some weird hereditary thing that only starts when you are about to turn 24.
b) My husband, he has had dandruff all his adult life and has infected me with his dandruff disease when he shared his pillow…comb…towel…life!
c) The fancy new John Jardine shampoo that smells like lollies, that I have been using for the past few months. Good one! You have just lost a perfectly happy customer to Stinky Dandruff Pinetarsol Shampoos!!
So my body has decided to boycott my skin, “I have had enough of you skin” it says.
Am I being punished for over moisturising?
Hang on a tic…all of this started after I got married, that’s it! I am allergic to marriage…”Sorry baby, we have to go back to our de facto lifestyle, my body is physically rejecting our marriage” I wonder if anyone has tried that line before?
Well, if anyone has some good suggestions for me to keep the skin on my body, they would be much appreciated, as I don’t think skin falling off is going to pass as a good reason for an annulment. So far I have washed my hair with a bright blue shampoo with the consistency of Jiff, and Tea tree oil shampoo, neither are really working.