Resignation

So I officially resigned last week, so after 3 or so weeks I will be self employed. Kinda scary, which I think I mentioned in my last entry. My boss was kinda disappointed, which is understandable because I am a SH*T Hot designer! Haa haa, not really...

So I am currently run off my feet, trying to organise the new job, the finishing of the old job, and the organising of the wedding.

And speaking of the wedding, I popped over to see my mum tonight and she told me that she had organised the week off the week before the wedding to help me with the last minute things, and that also she wanted to offer any help she could give but that she didn't want to be a controlling mother of the bride. It was a really great moment, and one of those where you realise that, sh*t my parents are amazing! I haven't always praised my mum as much as I posibly should have, and this moment really confirmed for me yet again that she is, the best mum in the world, to me. :)

Resignation

So I officially resigned last week, so after 3 or so weeks I will be self employed. Kinda scary, which I think I mentioned in my last entry. My boss was kinda disappointed, which is understandable because I am a SH*T Hot designer! Haa haa, not really...

So I am currently run off my feet, trying to organise the new job, the finishing of the old job, and the organising of the wedding.

And speaking of the wedding, I popped over to see my mum tonight and she told me that she had organised the week off the week before the wedding to help me with the last minute things, and that also she wanted to offer any help she could give but that she didn't want to be a controlling mother of the bride. It was a really great moment, and one of those where you realise that, sh*t my parents are amazing! I haven't always praised my mum as much as I posibly should have, and this moment really confirmed for me yet again that she is, the best mum in the world, to me. :)

Slacker that Quit

Well I have been a slacker with this blog recently :) Life has been a little intense, to say the least :) I have decided to leave my job and move on to a better opportunity for growth in Fremantle, working with three of my design mentors and also working for myself. I am terrified and excited at the same time, I am so scared of not earning enough or not being prepared. :) But I am so excited that I will be involved with such experienced and inspired people. :)

I am also a little proud of myself, that I have been able to grow a backbone and do something ultra risky. Though I probably should give myself more credit, I have done some pretty risky things in the past, but they have always paid off, and I am definitley commited enough to pull this out on my own thing off. I am just worried that I won't be able to keep my income consistent enough.

I feel like there is so much to think about right now, the planning for the move to Freo, the wedding, and just keeping up with life in general. It's funny that I seem to do all of this to myself all at once, rather than space all my big moves and plans.

Exhaustion

I feel totally zonked almost like someone has slipped me a sleeping tablet. This week has been so busy, I didn't even realise it was Friday today, it had gone so quickly. But then again it does feel like an age since the last weekend.

I have had one of those pounding skull aches, that seems to encompass your entire skull, and it patricularly strong near the crown of your head. Its not a migraine, more of a headache. I do get migraines though, they are horrible. They really slay me completely when they crop up. I can't open my eyes, can't seem to get my balance, can't stand light at all, and feel incredibly woozy, whilst all the time feeling like one of my eyes it being stabbed with a dagger. Fun! Fun!

The only thing that sorts a migraine is a Panadiene Forte and a good rest. Which is what I am going to do right now at 9pm on a Friday night :) I am officially OLD!

Till Death do us Part!

Such a statement full of bullshit pressure, unless you know for sure in your heart that its forever. But how do you know it's forever? And how do you know it's not forever?

I have had a few loves in my life, probably one or two before my fiancee that were more than crushes, and even though I was in the moment and I loved these guys, somewhere deep inside I knew that it wasn't forever. Marriage and that kind of commitment never came up, not only because I was quite young, but also I didn't see it was possible with those other guys.

The funny thing is now, even though I know for sure in my heart that I want to spend the rest of my life with my fiancee (soon to be husband), there are occasional momentary doubts. These doubts make me feel horrible and guilty. "Sh*t! What am I doing having doubts, I love him?!"

I suppose everyone occasionally has doubts about their relationships, and they really only become a concern when they come around too much. Maybe my fiancee has doubts about us too? Like when I blow a shit load of cash on sandals, clothes, or face creams, maybe he thinks "What the f*ck! How can she spend so much money on this stuff? Do I really want to marry this girl?"

So sometimes there are doubts, and I suppose the most stable relationships have them, I suppose it's human nature. But my doubts are wiped clean when I see him, think about hugs on the couch, jokes and giggles, morning hugs, the comfort of his warmth when I am upset and lost, and our moments of deep connection. This is when all of the doubts...well...they just float away.

Sooky la la, I know, but look isn't it this kind of deep connection with another person that we all crave? Yeah...I thought so! So stop eye-rolling!

Sheets Glorious Sheets!

Sheets...Glorious...Sheets!

I love a freshly made bed! I always have to have shower at night before I get into a freshly made bed, despite the fact that I am generally a morning shower kinda gal. Clean sheets seem so precious, and crisp and...well...clean that you don't want to ruin them by sleeping in them. Also you know that you can never be bothered tucking in that top sheet all neat and tidy with hospital corners after the first night of rest, and that you will just pull the doona over to hide the bed, because you can't be a*sed making the bed properly.

Apart from the clean bed linen, I think that I have had THE most glorious weekend ever (well, so far anyway)! Apart from the fact that it is the first weekend since I have been back at work (which does help ALOT!), I have just felt totally chilled out and have done everything I have wanted.

Friday evening I laid on the couch, did my dishes and two loads of wash, and watched Kindegarten Cop. I know this may souds pathetic, but it was just what I needed! Before this, the fiancee and I stood out on the street with the neighbours had an alchoholic beverage, watered our lawns and caught up on neighbourly gossip...fabulous!

This morning I slept in, had a coffee in my great antique chair in my back yard, and then prepped myself for some grocery shopping with a girlfriend. Again...I am hearing the groans over the cables...but it was great and COOL! Unless you have experienced a 37 degree humid day in Perth, you will never appreciate the heaven that is...the shopping centre!

Then I came home, had a delish sausage roll and prepped for the beach! My girlfriend picked me up, we grabbed some take-away coffees and headed down to Cottosloe Beach, heaven on a stick in weather like this. And let me tell you the difference in temperature between the subhurbs and the coast is AMAZING! We sat on the grassy hill above the beach, under the pine trees, and talked...for 3 and a half hours. And occasionally perved (just a little) on the extraordinary amount of cute guys present. (Now remember coupled girls, "You can get your appetite anywhere, but you can only eat at home!") The breeze was, well, exquisite! There is no other word for it, I had the best time ever! Though we found ourselves perving more at little babies, than boys, mmmm is this a sign of us getting older and cluckier?? Oh dear!!!

We finished the evening off, with some peppermint foot bomb soaks, moisturiser and socks, champayne, and last (but definitley not least) Sex and the City!

What a B-E-A-utiful day! (In the immortal words of Jim Carrey, though he isn't dead)

Parking Inspectors Stalking Me

This week was the first week back at work for most of us here in Perth, and the parking inspectors have been out in full force. Sometimes I think they receive some guilty pleasure from giving people tickets, and the fact that people are mostly terrified of them. I believe that they have been stalking me this week, because everytime I have tried to sneak onto the side of the road to drop off the fiancee or pick him up, they are all of a sudden behind me, or in front of me, or next to me, or worse jumping out of their cars and stomping over the road towards me! So I have been shoving the fiancee in and out of the car all week, trying to push him out the door and take off so I don't get booked, or worse berated. Consequently we have been smashing our heads together instead of our usual peck on the mouth, in the rush to get him out of the car.

The most stupid I felt all week is when I told a parking inspector, after he had stomped over the road towards me, that I had no idea that I was standing in a hotel bus stand. Even though I stop there everyday to wait for the fiancee to come out of the building. I felt horrible after I drove away, guilty that I had lied to the guy, even though it possibly saved me a ticket. I don't know why he bought it, maybe it was because I said I would move right away, or maybe it was because he couldn't be bothered, or maybe he already had my licence number and I will receive a nasty letter in the post.

Boy was he angry though!! I think that is a pre-requisite for being a parking inspector, that or they just get sick of all the lame excuses that they get.

Natural and Not so Natural Disasters

It is interesting, I don't know if I wasn't paying attention to the news about 2-3 years back, because I never remembered the world being such a scary place. The past few years we have all been exposed to terrorism, earthquakes, bombings, wars, tsunami's and now a land slide in Indonesia. Maybe I didn't see it at first, because terrorism was never covered by western media. I suppose they though that it didn't effect us and that's why we needed to know about it. In a way I am glad that more and more of these un-natural disasters are brought to the world's attention. However what bothers me is the way the the media goes crazy when something bad happens in a western country, but doesn't place much (if any) emphasis on horrible things happening in less fortunate and/or eastern countries. Even here in Australia, when we are so close the Asia, our media seems only to be concerned with America, Britain and mainland Europe (and even Europe doesn't get much of a shoe in).

I must apologise to media groups like the ABC and SBS, who seem to be the only unbiased media groups in the country! Are we becoming like America? Where the media is so restrictive in the information it gives to the population, that many people there don't seem to realise what happens outside their border? I don't know if this bothers anyone else, but censorship is a big issue these days, and I think it is becoming a big issue for Australia and it's media.

Narrow reporting...does it control your life?

Blink

Blink...a decision that you can make in a matter of seconds, that can mean more than a decision made through extensive analysis.

I am reading a very interesting book at the moment called Blink, "The Power of Thinking Without Thinking" Now I know what you are thinking, that this is some self help book. But it isn't. It is effectivley a scientific and phsycological analysis by Malcolm Gladwell. The book discusses the way that we humans can make accurate decisions in seconds whether with our conscious or unconscious minds. It is really amazing! The human mind is an amazing thing, and our own brains are consistently doing think that we do not even realise it is doing.

For example, dreams are supposed to be a good example of how our unconscious mind influences us. For those of us who can remember our dreams, do you ever wake up and think "S**t! I didn't even see anything in my entire life that would provoke a dream like this?" The reality is that your unconscious mind probably did absorb many elements that your conscious mind didn't register.

The book explores how people can sub-consciously react to things and how these reactions can be measured and interpreted by scientists to read peoples real feeling about a situation before their conscious mind even realises they have reacted. The amazing thing for me is that our subconscious is effectively affecting the decisions we make and how we live our lives without us even consciously realising! Scary huh?!

So get Blink and read it...you will be amazed. :)

Back to Work Blues

Well a Happy New Year to all! Hope everyone had a good one.

Today was the first day back at work after a divine week and a half off for the Xmas and New Year break. We decided to do nothing this holidays and simply relax, sleep in and rejuvenate. It was lovely, I even managed to get to the beach during the week, despite the unusually cool December we have been having here in "sunny and hot Perth".

Being back at work felt strange, but also routine. I just kind of slipped right back into it, the only thing I couldn't quite manage was the gym. The thought of getting up at 6am after my holiday of at least 10am sleep in's was just too hard to handle. So today was 7am and tomorrow will be 6am, we will just ease ourselves back into it.

Despite having to get up so d**n early, I actually really enjoy going the gym in the morning, you almost feel like when you get to work, you have already achieved so much, which really spurs you on. It wakes you up, it's the "me" time in my day where I can play my music and just think, without the interuption of the demanding client, the email, the crappy work computer crashing, the washing, ironing, cooking, driving in traffic. Oh dear, now I am back at work I have to deal with all of that cr*p again!

Despite feeling like it was wrong to be at work today when all of the surrounding cafe's, deli's and offices were closed, I actually got an awful lot of work done, it was extremely productive. Back into the daily grind, and for everyone still on holiday, enjoy it while it lasts! I had a friend get on msn today and ask me if I knew a hair dresser, she was set for a day being pampered and hanging at her local cafe...b**ch!! Hee hee.