Something Horrible

So what do you do when something horrible happens to someone close to you, something that you can't express. Something that you have to pretend hasn't happened? I am a talker you see, when I have a problem, I like to discuss it with my fiancee, with my girlfriends and sometimes with my family, but now I can't talk about anything. It's killing me.

Anyway, Christmas has just been and it was nice, not as exciting as when I was a kid, but still nice. I suppose the best bit about Xmas now is spending time with family, not the excitement of Santa and the Xmas Tree and the presents.

My guy and I were discussing how Christmas is effectivley about, and for kids.

When you are a kid you find Xmas so exciting and the world just seems better for that one day a year, and then you grow up and you just don't look forward to it anymore. It's just one of those days that comes round, where you have to prepare with the spending of copious amounts of money, baking and chopping of fruit and pastries. We were discussing that when we eventually have kids that Xmas will probably be fun again! Because then you have someone so important to prepare all that fun and joy for.

So Merry Xmas :)

Irregular

I am sure that I have the most irregular cycle ever! Deciding to give my body a break from the pill is possibly the worst thing I have ever done! Ever since then it has been month after month of irregular cycles and incredible pain. I love being a woman but sometimes when you are laying on the bathroom floor clutching your belly you wonder if it's all worth it!

It's not always just the pain, it's the constant worrying about why I am often so late? The whole saga of, am I pregnant or am I not pregnant, and buying the test and wondering if it's telling you the truth! The worrying, shit we can't have a baby right now!! AAaaah!! It always end up coming, but the anticipation is...well stressful.

Anyway we are safe for now. After another near heart attack.

The D*mn PC Ruined my Day

I am a Mac user, I have been since I was 8 and my Dad bought our first Mac, a little grey box with a little square screen. I used to play "Where in the World in Carmen Sandiego?" and I loved it. Through-out my long history of using Macs from 8 till 23 I have never had a problem with them. I work in an office where we use PC's and I have been fairly happy using PC's in the past, except for the fact that they always seem to have things going wrong with them! My work PC is absolutley horrific and today the sh*t officially hit the fan! The computer froze 8 times, and I was forced to reboot each time! I only had Photoshop open in the end and I wasn't working off the net-work, so all the computer had to do was run one program with one file open!

I still had to keep working because I had deadlines due so I was saving everytime I made an individual change to my Photoshop file. But I still lost a lot of my work, and hence spent all day doing a job that should have taken around 4 hours. It was horrible, the d*mn PC ruined my day!

The funny thing is that the iBook I am currently typing on is actually quicker and more reliable than the desktop PC that I use at work. My laptop is perfect! I have had it for over a year and it has never skipped a beat, my fiancee's computer has cracked the sh*ts about four times and each time he has had to wipe the hard drives! Why do the PC people bother with all of that, when they could be living in a stress free Mac world??!!

Work Holiday

Well I have finally been able to log on and update this blog. I have not really had much of a life this week so far, have been starting work at the crack of dawn everyday, even today...until I puked at work and came home...and slept half the day. Then watched sex and the city the other half. So feeling recovered but still enduring the period pain and the sore back. Being a woman is great...except for that one week a month where you have to endure pain and bleeding!

This weekend I am off down south with the work colleages for an Xmas celebration, I am excited yet nervous. It will be wierd to see people outside of work being their home selves, relaxed, casual, in their Pj's in the morning eating brekkie. It will be an interesting weekend, but I am looking forward to getting away down south, as I have been dying to escape this city for ages! I don't live in a big city, but sometimes it is neccessary to escape it.

Men Knitting Pink Scarfs

I was sitting in a cafe today drinking my second flat white and I looked over and saw a man knitting a pink scarf. It was amazing, I was shocked and not in a bad way. I was impressed that a man could sit in public in Australia amongst the hoards of ultra masculine men and judgemental women and knit pink wool. Well, I suppose not all of us ladies are judgemental, but all of us would think this site a bit strange. Good on you pink scarf knitting man!

Promise not to use the "L" word again!

Ok so I finally realised why my last blog was booted from the site, and that was because I used the "L" word in association with a dream I had about a certain actress. Obviously that was a little risque for Blogger, so I promise not to use that word again, until I learn how to design and construct websites and I can have my own little "L" word fest!

So now that I am back it's back to the usual rants and thoughts, that I will now vet swear words and offensive words out of...how boring!

You know sometimes I feel incredibly un-funny…in fact I always feel un-funny. The only time that people generally laugh at or with me is when I do something stupid or say something stupid, not because of an excellent joke, intelligent come-back or a fantastic twist of the English language. Lets face it I am a total goof! A totally exhausted goof!

Speaking of goofy things that make you exhausted, on Monday night a girlfriend and I went to Body Combat, a boxing/kick-boxing class at our gym, we both came out feeling extremely exhausted and have ached ever since (it’s now Wednesday night!). I have been going to the gym regularly since July, and I thought I was getting pretty fit, but I felt like I had been a couch slob my entire life when I was in that class punching/kicking the air, and bouncing on the spot. My poor calf muscles have not yet forgiven me for the torture I had put them through and they still wince every time I take a step, or press in the clutch in the car.

Straight after the class on Monday I came home. took a shower and washed my hair and I could hardly lift my arms up to rub the shampoo and conditioner in! Isn’t that pathetic!! (that’s more of a statement of truth rather than a question, hence the exclamation marks) Even re-adjusting my position on the couch still hurts my arms. I don’t know why we decided that putting ourselves through that torture was a good idea, but I suspect that we will be doing so again next Monday. I have heard that this class, apart from being killer pain producer, it also killer “toight” muscle producer. Which is something I have been trying to achieve for my butt and stomach…wait for it…this is the part where people I know all moan and tell me I am a stick insect. But guess what?! Stick insects still have flabby bits that they aren’t happy with, and my butt and stomache have flabby bits that require a bit of tightening.

You know what’s funny? I can’t remember the point at which the skin on my ass became softer and looser, and my butt began to jiggle more. It has kinda crept up on me in the last two years. The fiancée would tell me otherwise, he like others think I look fabulous, and hey I think I look kinda fabulous too, but everyone has at least one thing that they don’t like about their bodies…isn’t this normal?

There is a girl at my gym who is extremely fit, nothing jiggles when she walks, though I must admit I think she may have rented an apartment at the gym! She is always there, but she looks fabulous. I know what your all thinking, “Well, that doesn’t matter , she is probably a "b***ch”, but actually she seems lovely. She has a great honest smile, and I think that this only makes her seem more beautiful.