Thursday, July 27, 2006

Huge Shroom

I know your thinking, who gives a Sh*t its just a mushroom! But look how huge this bugger is!!!

And below the mushroom it made when chopped, enought for a dinner for 4!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Crusty, Old, Creepy

I work in a crusty old building in Fremantle, an area of Perth well known for its lovely old buildings. It’s one of the last places in Perth where development has not completely destroyed old architecture. I love old buildings, I have always lived in old houses, and I am used to their various funny mishaps and personality disorders.

This old building is really gorgeous with heaps of character, but also a little bit of weirdness. Apparently there was a guy pushed down the spiral stairs at the back of the building near the kitchen, and I always feel kind of freaked when I go down there. Even before anyone told me that it always felt strange walking down the corridor the that end of the building. Now I haven’t ever really believed in ghosts or spirits, but it is weird how strange a feeling you get down there. I once peered over the edge of the stairs and looked down at the spiral and I felt a weird cold sensation.

There is also this random room at the back of the building now that apparently has been rented out to some group therapy people, except there is never anyone here when I am, and the door is always ajar, and there I nothing in this 9x9 metre room except two chairs right in the middle facing each other, its creepy! The door blows open and closed all the time even though there is no breeze, could be the air pressure I suppose…anyway it’s creepy.

I love this building and I never feel unsafe here, but I always get such a weird vibe when I go down the back of the building, which is essential as the kitchen holds the ingredient to my coffee addiction.

I’ll post some photos in the next few days of the creepiness for you…

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Not a weirdo…

This evening I stood in my lounge room for 10 minutes and stretched my arms up really really high…and around and around. It felt good, you know…to just have that moment, to swim in that moment and enjoy the stretch, and the release.

P.S No…I am not a weirdo, sometimes you just need to stretch, try it sometime.

The Perfect Morning in the New Andrews Household

Fruit Platter
Soy and Linseed Toast
Ugg boots
The Weekend Australian
…and some great conversation (Zero 7 in the background)

This morning has been a dream!

P.S Today we have been married for three months…it’s heaven.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Hello All…

Please have a read of Mazen Kerbaj’s blog and official site.

He is a guy living in Beirut, Lebanon. He records his feeling and most recent artworks on his blog site:

He also has a site where he posts his recorded sounds and artworks.

Mazen has chosen to remain in Beirut in the current environment of war and destruction, he has sent his ex wife and his son to Paris, other members of his family are still elsewhere in Beirut and Lebanon. His drawings are haunting, real, and confronting.

Enjoy and relfect…

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I need to peeeeeeeeeeee

Tuesday was my first day back at work after a lovely long weekend with my girlfriends down south. So it was a bit of a struggle emotionally and physically. I had a bit to get through, but some work fell through and so on top of feeling tired, I also felt dejected. I got through the small amount of work required, and then things heated up, I had a briefing with one of my freelance providers and then headed of to have another briefing for more work with another design business. My day was looking up, the only problem that I had to traipse over to suburban hell-hole that I like to call the North Side of Perth! There is an ingrained sense of rivalry between the northern and southern suburbs of Perth, and being a southerner I could never live north of the river, and consequently dislike going there unless it involves a trip to the physio, Café 130, or to get a design job. You could say that I am a South Side Snob, and…you would be right! But it’s cool, at least I can admit it.

I managed the trip to the North Side quite well and landed in my destination right on time! The briefing was excellent, I got a heap more jobs, and I left happy and feeling upbeat. That was until I left the meeting place and realised that I needed fuel and that I had the sudden urge to pee. “It’s alright” I told myself, we are on a main road here, there will be a petrol station not far away and they will have a loo there. So I drove, and I drove, and I drove and I drove (I could keep saying that forever but it would still not encompass the amount that I drove), but still no petrol station. So I turned off into another road, which seemed bigger and more promising, and after about five minutes I came across a Woolies petrol station! Fantastic Fuel and Loo! Or so I thought…

So I filled up the car, and even bounced with excitement as I realised I could use my Woolies voucher to reduce my petrol price! See you Northerner’s have stolen all of the Woolies Petrol stations for yourselves, as I am pretty sure I have seen all of ONE of these South of the River! So I am filled with petrol, and urine, time to dispense of the second.

“Um, hey do you have a loo here?”
“No, sorry, we don’t”
“Riggghhhhttt, so how do you guys pee then?”
“Oh we go to that shopping centre over there, (pointing towards a speck in the distance) or that pub over there, (points in the other direction to a speck in the distance)”
“Ok, cool I will just pop over to one of those then. Great thanks for that”
“Oh hang on, it’s too late the shopping centre is closed”
“That’s cool, I’ll go to the pub”
“Oh and the pub’s not open yet.”
“Riiiggghhhttt! So how do you guys pee then?”
“We either wait for the pub to open or just pee round the back”
“Well I can’t really wait because you see;
(a) I have to pick up my husband from work in Applecross in like five minutes
(b) My bladder may burst any second (by this time am jiggling uncontrollably)
(c) I am a girl and the idea of having to squat in public, in suburbia, is not really appealing to me”
“Well, sorry”
(The poor guy is thinking by now, “get this psycho peeing b*tch out of here”.)
“That’s ok…not your fault. But you might want to approach your boss about putting some flipping toilets in”

You northerners have all the f-ing Woolies Petrol Stations and no f-ing public toilets! What is wrong with you people! We southerners just wouldn’t put up with a NO public toilet fiasco like that!

Faced with a near exploding bladder and a jiggling disorder that looked somewhat familiar to Parkinson’s (apologies in advance to all of those who are suffering from Parkinson’s, it is a horrible disease and I am a total b*tch for comparing it to me incessant need to pee) I bundle into the car and absolutely floor it down the road. I am right now supposed to be picking up my husband, and I am still 25 minutes away, in North Side Ar*e Crack no-where and I still need to pee. Deciding that I have the strength and will of a highly trained martial arts-man I zoom onto the Freeway and spend 25 minutes jiggling in my seat and driving through the Freeway traffic at a snails pace. Whilst trying to disguise my jiggling from other drivers, who by this stage have started wondering why this psycho is jiggling and swearing in her car next to them, and who have all have tripped their central locking in case she decides to jump ship into their car and murder them. I may not have murdered them, but if they had a loo I definitely would have bribed them with dried banana chips so that I could relieve myself asap!

By the time I get to my husbands work I am dying. Literally, I may have keeled over where I was standing, dead in a pool of pee. I called him from the front step of his office, begging him to buzz the door so I can run upstairs to the loo. He does so, or so he thinks, because the door won’t open! I am jiggling and thinking THE DOOR WON’T OPEN, THE DOOR WON’T OPEN! OH MY GOD, IT’S COMING, I CAN’T HOLD IT!!!!!!

I won’t share the rest of the details but I made it to the toilet, just, after almost bursting for over an hour. Let me tell you that I felt like I had reached Nirvana as I walked out of that restroom, life could not have been better. Lesson learnt here is, all you southerners out there, next time you decide to travel to the northern suburbs make sure you pack a toilet roll, and a trailer carrying your own porta potty. DO NOT expect that you will be able to find a toilet in a hurry!

Haa Haa Spam

Today I got yet another dodgy spam email in my hotmail inbox, which was from Hubby Can’t, with the subject line “Satisfy me anymore”.

Well honey if he can’t there is no way I can! I am a woman! Didn’t the female name in my email address give that away?

I have gotten some real corkers, but I am too afraid to post them here in case Blogger cuts me off again, like they did with my le**ian commentary. J

Stay tuned in the next few days for a little story about my awesome weekend away with meee ladies. I will write it when I have some brain power to devote to it!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


A great joke that my mother in law sent over to me a while ago. You may have already read it, but if not enjoy. :)

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover the night after a business function.

He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT!...Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, bitch, I'm married!!!".

Broken table - $200
Hot breakfast - $5
Red Rose bud - $3
Two aspirins - $0.25
Saying the right thing, at the right time... PRICELESS!

Bidding Farewell

Seeya Bebe
I love you

have fun

I will you too !
Haa Haa
I don’t want any other boys but you

If I even suspect there are boys I’m having a h**ker party

LOL, ok. It’s a deal

BRB, arranging hookers

I don’t have any boys planned so no h**kers for you!!!!!

Aww man

love you..... bbbyyyyyeeee


Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Creative Stinky Pies

A night time conversation between Husband and Wife when they are in bed.

How was your day?

Fantastic, my conference was great, but I broke the coffee percolator jug.

Oh no!

Yeah, I know. I almost cried.

Oh well, no more yummy coffee for us.

Hang on a tic! I can use the jug from the old broken percolator?!

Good Idea!

I am a Creative Thinker.

You are also a Creative Stinker!


I really like what you have done with our bed while I was out! It’s so much more…how do you say Creative Stinky!

Haa haa that rhymes with Design is Kinky!
Thanks, it was these little pies I had at my conference.

Creative Stinky Pies

Monday, July 10, 2006

Flickr Album

I have recently signed up for a Flickr Album, so far there are only a few wedding shots on there, but the collection will grow. Have a look here at :

The Trip of a Lifetime

Yesterday my brother and his girlfriend left for a 4 month trip around Europe! They are so excited and it was great to see them off at the airport the same way the family saw me off around 6 years ago, when I went overseas on my own 4-month trip. They are so much more organized than I was, I was a bit of a hippy with an old manual camera, a pair of well worn jeans, my supermarket food, and my lack of spending money. Alternatively they have heaps of savings, a brand new savvy camera, new luggage and a more extensive tour. Although I am sure that we will both have had by the end a fantastic, eye-opening trip.

Nothing can prepare you for a trip like this, you can never attempt to create in your mind a vision of what it will look like. Because when you get there you realise that there is a whole new word out there that you never could picture here in Perth. Europe is amazing, it’s huge, and it is full of absolute excitement and wonder for anyone who comes from this modest little city of Perth. We live in such isolation in this city, not at all like the eastern states of Australia, where you drive for a few hours you can be in a different city, here you have to drive for 3 days non-stop to get to another city! In Europe if you drove for 3 days non-stop you could visit several countries!

The best thing about being from somewhere so isolated and visiting such a densely populate area of the world, is that you find everything amazing and new. The age and the beauty of the culture, architecture and people are mind boggling. I saw Viking huts that were thousands of years old in Denmark, churches which have lived through the Reformation in Belguim, city’s that have been completely destroyed in World Wars in The Netherlands, and walls that the Romans built, the list goes on and on.

Mmm, I am so jealous…it makes me want to embark on another journey overseas, but then I realise that I have just embarked on a new journey here. My own business and new marriage! These are exciting time for us all! No matter what journey we are travelling on, overseas or in our modest little cities. J

Thursday, July 06, 2006

To DO is to BE, or to BE is to DO?

Do you ever feel like you never get to spend quality time with your partner, or your family, or even your friends? Do you ever feel like even though you make time for people you are not even really in the moment as you are just thinking about all of the other meaningless cr*p that you have to do later, or tomorrow, or next week, or that major thing next year that requires planning?

I feel like I am a ship passing in the night past my husband at the moment, we rarely get to spend quality time together. I can’t remember the last time that we spent the whole day together, just being together, eating breakfast together, going for a walk together, just laying on the couch for hours together, not since our honeymoon probably. It is so depressing that we lives our lives so caught up in DOING instead of just BEING!

As young “successful” people we are always pushed to have the best job, the best home, the best cooking, the best relationship, the best social lives, the best at hoarding loot or killing enemies in a computer game. We even feel pressured to be readers, writers, artists, perfect daughters and sons, brothers and sister. We feel the need to help everyone around us, to solve everyone’s problems, to encourage everyone around us and try to keep ourselves motivated at the same time. These are all great things, which are all a lot of fun and some even rewarding. But when you look back and see all of the time that you spent DOING all of these things, ignoring the people close to you and not just BEING in the moment when all of these precious moments were taking place, all of them seem meaningless.

The hardest part is when you have this realisation but you can’t seem to slow yourself down, and you can’t seem to get others to see it as a problem and slow down too. Would we all be happier, less stressed, healthier, more functional as human beings? I know that I would be all of these things if I could just learn to shut down the very dominant side of me that can’t help but DO DO DO all the time.

What if I could just BE for a day…what would that be like?

P.S I know the title doesn't make sense...but I just like to play with your minds!!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

“Oh dat is nooo gud”

My body has been in protest mode for a few weeks now, putting up several barricades in my way as I struggle to maintain my normal routines. I got a strange rash on my under-arms. Initially I thought that this might just be due to the fact that we have had our heater on on-stop, then I thought that perhaps I had changed a moisturiser or a deodorant etc, but it was none of these things. Though, I was convinced it was the dry skin thing for about 4 weeks, so for the last month I have been suffering in silence with my Sorbolene, Aveeno Cream and Paw Paw Ointment (not made on puppy paws but the fruit).

My parents always said to me when I was a kid and hurt myself, “Just slap some paw paw ointment on it!”. As kids we (my brothers and I) had paw paw for nappy rash, grazes, dryness, cuts, lip balm, every possible ailment on our exterior shells. So I have continues the tradition of spreading the word that paw paw ointment was the secret behind Jesus’ miracle healing. I do actually say it like this when I am preaching about the paw paw, just ask my friends, because paw paw ointment was invented by God himself didn’t you know that?! People were losing faith so he invented the paw paw ointment and then sent Jesus down to earth to apply it to every man, woman and child! Some say this is why he was able to walk on water, as the paw paw ointment created a strong oily seal between his feet and the water and he just glided along its surface! Seriously!

Back to the rash. My miracle ointment did not perform its duty, and I stopped believing in God! Once I got over the fact that my faith had been forsaken in the paw paw, I finally resided myself to the fact that I may have to go to the doctor and get it checked out. I went to the local doctors surgery and saw this funny little (I think Polish) man who was very kind and cheery, a little like santa. He said “Oh dat is nooo gud, we must get some steroid ointmunt onto dat! Dat looks like a fungal infecton to me, or perhaps an allergic reacton!” So he hooked me up with some steroid cream, and we decided to do a run of tests for general health while we were there, cause I just LOVE giant blood testing needles!

I actually managed to look over at the needle in my arm about half way through the test and watched the blood sucking out into the little tube. Which is quite an achievement for me considering last time I had a needle I passed out. On Thursday I go back to se Dr Hzrghlocski (not his real name, but I imagine you would pronounce it something like this), to get my test results, though I must keep using the steroid cream on the fungi/irritation until 7 days after symptoms have disappeared.

I had an interesting thought this morning whilst putting on the steroid cream, does this mean that due to increased steroids near my mammary’s that they will grow larger? Perhaps it’s wishful thinking.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Miss USA 2006-07-02

I am sitting on the couch on a Sunday afternoon (when I really should be working) watching the Miss USA competition. I must admit I love looking at gorgeous women, and judging them of course! Mmm a little evil you might think, but in reality that is exactly what this competition is about. These women are preening and training so that they can be judged over and over again.

Now sometimes looking at these gorgeous specimens can make us normal women feel horrible about ourselves, and our looks. But in reality these women employ a team of people to help them look like this, so it is unrealistic for us to compare ourselves with them. I actually love watching programmes like this it makes you realise that there are so many gorgeous women in the world, even though some of them have been preened beyond recognition.

I know your probably thinking that looks aren’t the be all and end all and I completely agree with you. Exterior beauty is only an element of what makes a woman gorgeous, inner beauty definitely shows through in a woman’s actions and her smile, in the end it’s definitely the things I have done and the decisions that I have made in my life that have made me who I am, and made me feel successful. So I suppose that is why I love watching programmes like this, trying to catch the inner beauty of these girls and trying to figure out if there is more underneath that exterior shell.

A lot of people I know suggest that competitions like this are a load of bolder dash. To a certain extent I think that they do have a negative effect on young women, all women. But on the other hand it is possible to take away positive things from a competition like this. We can feel assured that although these women are amazingly gorgeous, this doesn’t have to make us ladies feel bad about our looks. It can make us feel better about ourselves, that we are all gorgeous in our own way. That we manage to look, feel and do great things everyday whilst holding down jobs, studying, running business’, looking after our families and our partners, and being great friends to the other fabulous women around us. See we are all fabulous and gorgeous.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Maxtor My Baby

Yesterday my husband told me over msn that he had found the ultimate, the best, the most wicked external hard drive for me. He gave me all the details, I packed up my office gear so quick it was like I was Superwoman, and bunged myself into the car and off to Osborne Park. See, I get really excited when I can actually go and spend money, as these days we don’t really spend money on many things except bills and food (so basically nothing fun!). Except that after buying the hard drive I drove past Ikea and saw that they were having a sale and had to dart in for some storage bargains (that was fun!).

For anyone who knows me well, they will know that I am the organisation queen, the clean queen, essentially the “I am totally Anal” Queen (and that is totally non-sexual before anyone gets any ideas). When I see storage on sale I wet my pants with excitement! One of my girl friends called me two weeks ago from a new storage shop that she had discovered in Subiaco because she just had to let me know that she had found more of my storage crack and all was not lost. I didn’t want to admit it but when she called I got so excited that I peed a little.

So $82 dollars later, I had many different storage solutions for our house that I am looking forward to implementing room by room over the next few weeks. I found some $1.95 storage boxes and I couldn’t stop myself from filling half of my trolley with them. I was like a crazed Italian housewife in Woolies when she sees that the tinned tomatoes are on sale, just think of the opportunity for making bulk loads of Spaghetti Bog!! (Hang on a tic…that is totally something I would do)

So back to Maxtor My Baby! I am also anal with my backing up of files (oh boy, that sounded dodgy, keep it clean people). I have set up a backup of my entire laptop hard drive, so that if it has a hissy fit they can reboot from Maxtor My Baby! How awesome is that!

Happy 1st Day Birthday Maxtor My Baby!

P.S Happy New Financial Year (for tomorrow)