Marimo

If you have the time (just under 11 minutes), and you have ever had a dog, watch this with patience. It is a bit slow, and sometimes repetitive but in the end it sets a beautiful scene. If you are as soppy as me, and you have ever lost a dog you will be in tears.

Click here to view.

A new government

Australia has a new government. I sat, glued last night to the television watching the results roll in from 6pm, till Mr Howard conceded at around 10:30pm. I watched the new Prime Minister Kevin Rudd make his first speech to the nation as our new leader. I must admit I am terribly excited about the future (I suppose you know how I voted now), and I am proud to be an Australian at a time when we will now see so many essential decisions be made. The ratifying of the Kyoto Protocol, the better acknowledgement of Climate Change, the improving of rights for all Australians in the workplace, in health, and in education. Hopefully we will see a new government who can lead with compassion and dignity.

Spinach

Husband: *bbbuuurrrrppppp*

Wife: Ewwww! Did you just fart?

Husband: No, I burped.

Wife: It smells like fart.

Husband: It tastes like spinach

Living in a marginal seat

So it's the big F.E. this weekend. (Federal Election) Frankly I get quite excited about elections. With all of the emotion, the yelling, the accusations, the name calling and blame games. Kind of reminds me of growing up with three brothers. It is funny how child like politicians are though, particularly at election time, when they seem to revert to the pre-pubescent versions of themselves. I wonder if they realise how unattractive all that name calling is to voters.

I always love it when they hold or kiss babies. They and the baby look so damned uncomfortable. I just wish that one day, for shits and giggles, the kid would throw up on them. Now that would be awkward!

It's less than 24 hours to go, and today I have had no less that two automated calls from political party's. Their last ditch effort to sway the voter uses an automated voice of a young girls life destroyed by work choices, and a woman defending economic management. Unfortunatley for them I have decided where my vote is going, so an automated voice isn't really going to make a different to me. But for the undecided voter I don't think, that in this age of annoying call centres, a voice recorded message will have the desired effect. In fact I would think it would be a major turn off for the undecided voter.

What will you be doing tomorrow tonight as they count the votes? I shall be glued to SBS in anticipation, hoping to catch some more name calling. Awaiting the time when us the parents get to know which group of kiddies has to go to bed, and which is allowed to stay up late.

Summer is here

Summer is here. It is the time of year when we can open up the apartment, sit on the couch, and have to pause the dvd when a bus drives past. A time when I can enjoy the gentle breeze whilst reading Vogue and listen to the soft sounds of the local soup kitchen "attendees" screaming their lungs out at each other. Peaceful....really!

Even after living here for just over a year now, I cannot get used to the fact that there are people around who are so rude, so loud, so obnoxious, so violent, so unwilling to consider the people living around them. I know we probably haven't chosen the best area if we would like some peace and quiet, but sometimes, just sometimes I would appreciate a little consideration from those drunk mother f***ers on the street.

I do love this area! Really! Haa haa, no really I do. I suppose sometimes the little things just get to you.

That building...

Haa haa haa!

Check this out!

What are you grateful for?

I am grateful for:

A patient and kind husband
An loving and honest marriage
Supportive, caring and inspiring friends
A Father who tells me I am a princess
A Mother who tells me I can do anything I set my mind to
Brothers who look up to me, and inspire me with their strength and compassion
Grandparents who are proud to call me their grandaughter
Being accepted with open arms into my husbands family
A boss who appreciates my hard work, and rewards me for it
Being taught to live compassionately
Strong and awe inspiring women
Being hurt but surviving
Making mistakes

What are you grateful for?

Sleeping on the bus...

I will never understand how people sleep on public transport. Particularly on buses in Sydney. This evening on the way home there was a lady sleeping on the bus and the following thoughts popped into my head:

1) Her head is going to fall off from the drivers wiplash braking.
2) Her white eye slits were reminding of a horror movie.
3) Is she going to miss her stop?
4) Someone's going steal her handbag.
5) I wonder if she would notice if a flicked this chewy into her mouth? (Haa haa eewwwww!)
6) She's drooling a little.

I was in tears watching this...good tears

Ok so my hormones say yes, and my brain says no. But for the time being I will enjoy videos, such as this.

Tips

Ashlee Simpson needs to get some tips from this kid.

Russian Nightmare

Wife: Honey, I need to get some action tonight.

Husband: Yeah, why's that?

Wife: Well, last night I had a dream that I made out with an old Russian man.

Husband: Rrriigghhtt!

Wife: Yeah, I have been freaking out about it all day. I think it was because they had that Apec summary about Vladimir Putin.

Husband: Vladimir Putin! Eeewwww!

Wife: Yeah, very eeeewwww!

This pasta smells like dog

Wife: This tortellini smells like dog.

Husband: What now?

Wife: Yeah, I mean I am a great cook, but this pasta smells like wet dog. So yeah, bon a petite!

Husband: Yeah, I am really looking forward to it now.

For any woman who has ever dated a nerd

This video is for anyone who has ever dated a nerd, it is fantastic.

Nigella is sooo hot right now...

So I am sitting here on a lazy Saturday afternoon, nursing my champagne headache, watching the lifestyle channel and enjoying the kitchen stylings of Nigella Lawson. She is so hot! I know hetero chicks aren't supposed to say that about other women, but have you seen this woman baking a chocolate cheese cake? She is just gorgeous!

I wonder how many men secretly watch her show just so they can have a good perv.

The way that they film this show is actually very seductive. They constantly zoom in on her boobs and lips. I have counted at least 17 chest puppy shots in the last 20 minutes, and about double that amount of lip shots. Crikey and now she is in her silky dressing gown making hot chocolate! Should this show have a M15+ rating or what?!

Beep, Beep Beep

Car horn: Beep, beep, beep, beep

Husband: What is that beeping?

Wife: Well it's either a car alarm or a really pissed off, but well timed taxi driver.

Bat for Lashes

That Bunny is Scary!

(Found via Dooce)

What is love? (Number 2)

Husband: I got you a present!

Wife: Really?! What?!

Husband: Look in my bag.

Wife:
(opens bag and pulls out two containers of yoghurt)
Yoghurt?
Quick help me get off my bra!
(said with eye brow raised)
You bought this?

Husband: Nah, they were handing them out for free at the train station.

Wife: Right.

Husband: That's love baby. You love yoghurt!

Gayest saying ever...

Husband: Baby, can you go check if the pasta is Andrew Denton?

Wife: What does that mean?

Husband: It means al dente

Wife: Rrrrriiiigggghhhhttttt.

Mascara

There is nothing more suspensful than watching a woman putting of her mascara on a Sydney bus.

What is love?

Love; is your husband scrolling through all of the comedy programs for the week on Foxtel to put in a reminder for We Can Be Heroes on Thursday evening. Just because you don't want to miss it.

Biro

Have you ever picked up a biro and put it in your mouth, and then noticed that someone had already chewed it?

Very eewwwww!

Fuyija Miyagi

This song is coolio, and so is the vid!

(Found through Dooce)

Springy

A woman ran past me today, she had very springy legs.

40 minutes in a multi-storey carpark

So on our weekly car trip to Woolies this week, (which we like to make as swift as possible so that we don't turn into pumpkins from expelling too much carbon into the atmosphere, and from being turned into pulp by crazy Sydney drivers), we got stuck in a 40 minute traffic jam. A traffic jam, inside the shopping centre carpark, on a Saturday, at 5pm, in a shopping centre carpark (did I already mention that?).

Being stuck in a carpark in the eastern suburbs, with all the crazy drivers in that area is not really my idea of fun. More so when I am driving, and my husband is squirming in the passenger seat as he tries to zip his lips, to prevent them from spilling words such as "Brake!" and "What are you doing?" My usual response is a calm "Who's driving baby?" Really he means well, but unfortunately the helpful tit bits aren't falling on ears that want to listen, considering that those ears and attached body do the majority of the driving in this town.

Anyway, back to the 40 minute traffic jam, in the carpark. It was like everyone was playing mind games! I was doing my very best to be polite, but not let the entire world pull infront of me from the side parking areas. I felt like a ninja driving a car, gettig right up the bum of the P plater in front of me so that the BMW driver next to me that had cut off three people couldn't do the same to me. Excuse me for being an anti-BMW/Mercedes driver. But those dudes think they are totally entitled to cut people off, double park (and leave the car there blocking the road as they pick up their skinny, soy, weak, decaf latte), run red lights (I am not kidding), block intersections, and push in impolitely!

The P-plater in front of me had a car full of girls, they were all decked out in their emo gear, with their emo tunes, and their emo looks (full of disdain for the world). The only time I felt emo during the whole experience was when I started to get hunger pains, was distracted and yet another BMW cut me off forcing me to brake very swiftly.

The previously mentioned emo-driver was chain smoking, which is illegal inside fully enclosed car parks. My husband was glaring at her the whole time, thinking of all the possible outcomes of her smoking, well he didn't say anything but I know him well enough to know what was churning over in that brain of his. Like the fire sprinklers turning on, the alarms going off, us being evacuated on foot, having to leave the car, the old water in the sprinkler pipes damaging the paint on the car, the meat going off, the milk turning sour, not being able to enjoy a roast dinner with potato and gravy! See people just don't think of the consequences when they light up in a car park do they?! It could cause others to miss out on eating gravy! GRAVY! I saw his worried look, and said "Don't worry honey, we are not in as bad a position as the people in the back of her car (not smoking) who will soon pass out from fumes, and will likely sue her arse for giving them lung cancer.

The Honda behind me contained a single father with his young baby of about 6-9 months. The poor guy was alone in the car with the screaming child. He was jumping in and out of the drivers seat, grabbing various toys, bottles and pacifiers from the boot. None of them worked. Then all of a sudden I heard a beep, I was just about to yell a profanity at him, to inform him that I had 50,000 cars in front of me and couldn't accelerate, then I realised that he had the kid behind the wheel with him, and it was beeping the horn excitedly and giggling away. The car was stationary! So don't be concerned! Sure it wasn't the safest thing in the world, but you work with whatever you've got when you get are stuck in a 40 minute traffic jam with a baby.

We got excited when we were nearing our exit and the traffic seemed to be heading off in the direction of another exit, but then...our normal exit was blocked off by traffic barriers! Those barriers really broke our spirits.

My husband now began to squirm even more, he let out a peep saying "This is so frustrating! They should install speakers so that they can tell us what's going on, or put some dude there with the barriers to let people know what the F is going on!" My response was, "Can you get me a bannana from the boot? I am hungry". His response was *glare*. (Hey, I was hungry, my clutch foot was falling asleep and I was trying to stay positive, I figured that the bananna might help me do that.)

After about 35 minutes we seemed to be nearing what appeared to be an alternate exit, but not before I got nearly ram raided by a crazy Mazda driver. At the 40 munite mark, when we finally exited it was pitch black, it was well and truly daylight when we had arrived.

I don't think that I could handle doing that again, being trapped in a small space with so many crazy eastern suburb drivers, they are scary scary people!

Not funny blood

Poor little guy, he's just trying to look after his little sis, what a cutey. :)

Gorgeous!

Is this not the most gorgeous girl you have ever seen? She makes me all teary she is so beautiful!

Funny Men

Have you ever read those Mr Men books? I loved them when I was a kid. My brother once gave my husband and I Mr Men books specific to our personalities (it was funny sh*t).

Well I have been collecting a lot of thoughts about Mr Men characters who live in my area. There is Mr Sandwich, who likes to chuck his half eaten ham sandwiches into the alley way behind our apartment building. There is Mr Garlic, otherwise known as Mr Opera when he is in alternate moods, who lives in our building. He really likes garlic, so much so that when he cooks he uses enough to make our eyes water inside our apartment.

There is Mr Fitty Cent, a local guy who asks for money, but only even fifty cents (was that name too mean?) There is Mr (or should is say Ms) Austrian Princess who is the matradee at our local Bavarian Pub. I know that this sounds mean, but he actually introduces himself as the Austrian Princess.

Ok, that;s all I got at this point, will add more as they come to me.

Raining hard

It has been pretty wet here lately in Sydney town. It has also been pretty chilly. I almost feel like we are living in Europe, which is kind of cool. I have been whipping out all of my retired winter clothes, those that were banished to the plastic storage boxes under the bed. I have pulled out my box of scarves. Yes, I have a box of them. Yes, I realise that I live in Australia, but I can always live in hope that one day the climate may change enough that I get to wear a scarf everyday.

I have always loved winter, perhaps being born in our country's capital has something to do with that. I like the beach, but I have to be honest if it got cold enough that I never was able to go again, I am not sure that I would be that disappointed. Blashphemy! I hear you scream. I know that I should love the beach and the sunshine like all other Aussie's, and I do really like the beach , and I love sunshine. But I really love a crisp cold morning, rugged up in a scarf, ugg boots in the evenings, snuggles on the couch, being able to sleep soundly at night, not sweating, autumn leaves falling, open fires and marshmallows, hot chocolates, steaming herbal teas, doonas, turtle neck jumpers, elegant winter gloves and delicate gloves, staring out the window at the rain falling, hearing the rain patter on a tin roof. I could go on forever. There is just so much to love about the colder months. Though I do appreciate the balance of summer, sometimes I think that summer gets too much of a go in Australia, I wish winter had a bit more of an opportunity to shine...is that an oxymoron?

The only annoying thing is getting wet running from your apartment to the car parked under the dead bat tree.

It's been a bit wet.

Husband: Did you hear that car slide?

Wife: No

Husband: It think I just heard that car slide!

Wife: Really?

Husband: Yeah. Unless it was you blowing your nose. Did you?

Wife: No. Why is that relevant?

Husband: Cause your nose blowing sounds like a car sliding.

Wife: (*explodes into ecstatic laughter) That is the funniest thing I have ever heard! I had no idea that you paid so much attention to my nose blowing.

Husband: Well I do. The car definitely slid then.

Has it been a month already?

Wow, I have been really, really slack lately with the ole blog. But I promise itt has all been for a good cause, well maybe not good, but productive. I have literally been working my butt of recently, so much that I have not had a spare moment to really look after myself or do anything that I really care about. Like maintain this blog.

There have been many times I have wanted to write, especially when I have seen and experienced all the strange things that constantly happen to me here in Sydney. Below are a few of the interesting things that I have experienced lately:

• Our car window was smashed
• A person Od'd in the park accross from our building
• I saw a dead body on the street
• A person was bashed with an iron pole two streets away from our house
• This morning at 3am a man was sitting on our bonnet and throwing a giant knife into the wall accross from our apartment repeatedly
• We are thinking about moving

Apart from all of these less than desirable things life has been good. Yes, I have been working a lot but it has been great work, exciting projects, inspiring and creative. I am really proud of the work I have been producing lately, I have really been on the top of my game, and have been having a ball.

Have a good one! I am off to bed to prep for a big day with the ladies over from Perth. Have just stuffed myself with roast beef, steamed vege's and gelato. Mmmm gelato.

Not written in a while

Apologies for the lack of writing as late, we have been a bit busy over here. The day after my last post was out wedding anniversary (Yay!), we had a lovely evening together, dinner, drinks, gifts etc. Since then we have had family staying with us, and have been busily going out on big walks, dinner and other fabulous outings around Sydney. Whilst still working our little behinds of at work. We have a break for a couple of days now, and then we have some more family coming to stay for a few more days.

The conslusion to make here is that I may in fact not be writing much over the next week either. Will do my best to juggle and fit it in.

Woolies

(Wife stands at the deli in Woolies and orders some ham)

(Husband pulls out the mobile phone and calls wife)

Wife: Hello?

Husband: Hey guess what?!!

Wife: What?

Husband: I just saw this dude with a "I Love you long time" t-shirt. (side splitting laughter)

Wife: Haa haa haa, that shirt is craaazzyyy! (side splitting laughter, whilst deli man looks bemused)

Husband: Ok, that will be all. I am going to buy a doughnut.

Wife: (breathlessly) Ok, I am in Woolies when you're ready.

This is what marriage is all about *wink

I can't sew

I really can't sew. I have dabbled in a bit of sewing here and there, and I used to dabble in a bit of knitting when I was a kid. But this morning I only emphasised the fact that I can't sew anything to pefection, not even a button onto my trench.

See above left for the example of how a button should be sewed, then see the middle and right panel of the image to see how a button should not be sewed onto a trench. (I think you can guess which one was mine) I can't even be trusted to hem my own pants! I just picked up three pairs of pants from the alterations shop, where they reduced the leg length for me. All that was required there was a sew in a straight line. I didn't even attempt those, too much sewing.

I just straightened my hair like a pro, that's gotta count for something, doesn't matter so much that a gal can't sew.

Insight

Tweenagers. They are a new market of 6 - 12 year olds that have become a growing target market for advertisers, retailers and product companies. To me girls and boys this age are children, not tweenagers. "Tweenagers" seems to be a new word invented by advertising companies to desribe a new market that they can promote products to.

Despite my thoughts on this, the label tweenagers and tweens are well used terms these days.

I have had a concern for a while, when I have stood in the queue at the supermarket and seen magazines with fully made up young girls on the cover, aimed at young girls. I have also been shocked to see bras, g-strings and bikini's, and other revealing clothing marketed towards young girls. The reason for my concern is that I am not sure that young girls should be exposed to the kinds of imagery and promotional materials that encourage them to seek products that make them appear older, or even s*xualise them. How is this all affecting young girls, the way they view themselves, their bodies, and the way they act. Come to think of it, how does this affect the way that young boys may react to young girls, and women in their future?

It may sound like I have an extreme response to this, you may think that it is solely a parents job to limit what their children are exposed to, and I do agree. I was limited from watching, buying and being exposed to things that my parents deemed inappropriate for my age. Even though at the time I didn't appreciate these limitations, I thank them now for allowing me to enjoy my childhood.

My worry is that a parents limitations and rules, may one day not be able to stand up to the strength of multi-million dollar advertising campaigns. Even now, I am sure that there are many parents who find it difficult to enforce rules and limitations with the constant barrage of persuasive marketing campaigns.

I am not in the advertising industry per say, but I am part of the design industry. I have been lucky not have to work on projects that oppose my morals, and I am not sure what I would do if I was faced with the choice. There are many that I would never touch, there are other less extreme projects that I may consider. It is scary though to think that decisions that I make, affect decisions that other people may make about a company or a product, that could then go on to affect the way that they live their lives.

I am glad that I watched Insight this evening, which covered this issue from varying viewpoints, including those of children, parents, phsychologists, doctors, media and advertising representatives. The transcript should be later this evening of tomorrow. Check it out if you have time.

My Screaming Friend

I have not seen the lady who likes to walk down the middle of our street yelling for a while. She likes to wander down the middle of the traffic, singing and yelling to no one in particular. She once exposed herself to everyone on the street, I was one of the unlucky few who had the privelage of viewing the scene from my balcony as I was watching the sunset and sipping some wine.

I wonder where she has been for the past month?

"I want your chicken dinner!"

"I want your chicken dinner!" This was one of the first things that I heard when we returned from our whirlwind tour of Perth this weekend. Yelled from a passing car outside out apartment, a little random.

We just came back from a whirlwind tour of Perth, for my sister in laws engagement party. It was an absolute ball, totally exciting, totally exhausting and full of many emotions (all good ones of course!).

It all began with a very early morning on Friday, where at 5am outside our apartment, awaiting a taxi, I was mistaken for a pr*stitute. Oh yes, I am serious. A stylish woman, wearing a trench and designer glasses was mistaken for a prossie and her husband holding their suitcase was mistaken for her p*mp. I suppose in our area the only people really out on the street at that time of the morning fulfill these certain "job description".

Our flight was delayed a bit, and we both sat in the airport thinking the obvious, "we could have had 40 extra minutes of sleep". The delay wasn't to bad though, we enjoyed some lovely juice, coffee and raspberry and pear bread, and the inexcusable sound of Japanese business men hocking up their phlegm into the airport bins. Charming!

Our flight over was...well...not good. We were on a small plane, in old uncomfortable chairs, hence we had no sleep, and endured a flight that seemed to go on forever. Happiness was restored when we landed, and were met by my husbands family. It was so great to see them again, and I was honoured by the request to be the maid of honour for my sister in law.

It only got better from there, we had a great lunch with her fiancee, his brother, all the bridesmaids and my mother in law. Then wedding dress shopping with all the gals. Then I had the pleasure of sneaking up on both my parents, my brothers, and my circle of girlfriends throughout the weekend. I was also able to meet the most beautiful baby in the world, one of my very dear friends daughter. When I saw her I felt an incredible warmth inside me. She was a little angel, and I couldn't keep my eyes or my hands off her the whole time I was visiting. Her Mamma is so beautiful and I have never seen her as happy as she was holding her beautiful daughter. It was a dream come true to see them and a huge highlight of the weekend, along with the big engagement bash on Saturday night. it was the usual huge family crowd, and it was great to catch up with all of them, and hear one of my father in laws great speeches.

We headed home this morning, leaving Perth at 11:30am, saying goodbye to the family all over again, and all my girlfriends earlier in the weekend. It was tough to do it all again, but at least this time we knew we had a home to go to where we were comfortable and happy. I already miss them all, but I know that we have made a good decision coming here, I just feel like it's where we belong.

Mermaid...it's what's for dinner

Haa haa haa, check this out!

roses

Cars on fire

On Monday last week as my morning bus was making its way down Broadway, I looked out the window to see a burnt out car on the side of the road. I don't think I have ever seen one before, right out there on the street like that. Broadway is a pretty major street, kind of the similar to the West Perth end of Hay Street, that kinda thing. No one else on the bus even gave it a second look, or even a first for that matter.

The next day (Tuesday) I looked out for the car, and it was stuffed with a heap of blown up, colourful balloons. I wish I had had my camera with me, it would have made a great shot. The burnt out Holden, with no windows, full of balloons.

By Wednesday it was gone.

On Thursday on the way home from work, I had left a little late, I looked out the window onto another part of Broadway to see a car parked on the street. It was engulfed in flames. Fire trucks were gathered around it, hosing it down. Police cars blocked part of the road. I couldn't help but stare at the comotion until the bus had passed so far that I could no longer see it. No one else on the bus even took a second look at it, they had a simple glance and then went back to their newspapers, books and mp3 players.

I don't know whether I will ever get used to seeing things like this. Like I will never get used to the drug addict passing out on the street, as I frantically call the cops and an ambulance, who never turn up. (P.S His friend came instead, though she looked almost as bad as he did.)

Doing our bit for the environment.

Since we have been living in Sydney we have barely used our car. We use it once a week to do the groceries and also when we pick up/ drop off our numerous visitors at the airport. Today the fuel light came on in the car on the way to do the groceries, and we both tried to remember the last time that we filled it up. My husband remembered doing so just after Christmas on our way to the New Years Bash, in country New South Wales. I remembered doing it in January, after dropping one of our mates at the airport. After discussing at length we realised that mid January was the last time we had filled up the car! No kidding!

We have done about 410 k's in two and a half months. Crazy huh! We catch public transport almost everywhere we go, and we walk... a lot.

We have become very kind to the environment since we came here. Very, very kind. We no longer have a garden, only a solitary Aloe Vera plant (Amy the Aloe), so we use a small portion of the water that we used to. We hardly use our car. We don't power heating or cooling, except for a solitary fan when the humidity becomes unbearable. In the evenings we use a singular lamp to light the living room, with its energy saving globe, and we rarely inhabit other rooms of the house at lengths that require a lot of light. We always turn off lights in rooms that we are not using, I have been guilty of turning lights off in rooms that I leave, even when my husband is still in them.

Last but not least, my husband is a recylcing nazi. He recycles everything you could possible recycle. He even rinses and leaves to dry each piece of recycling (apart from the newspaper) so that it is super sparkly and clean for the recycling company. Not that is will be like that for long after it is mixed with the rest of our building's recycling, non-rinsers the lot of them! (snorts in disgust) But you gotta give him credit for at least trying to smoothen the recycling process.

We participated last night in Earth Hour. I was so committed that I did the dishes to candle light! How good is that! I don't know how seriously a lot of people in our area took the whole Earth Hour concept, as there were people with heaps of lights on, heaps and heaps. Even the terrace house across from us that "supposedly" support the Greens. Oh, yes! I saw you people with your Greens poster out the front, and ALL OF YOUR LIGHTS ON!

I suppose the only thing that we are guilty of, is leaving our tv, dvd, sound system on standby, and my husbands computer. Also, occasionally I put my laptop to sleep, instead of turning it off and unplugging it. Not bad, though we are constantly trying to do better.

Porridge

I have been making a lot of porridge lately. Dad has always made us kids porridge, for as far back as I can remember. He makes the best porridge, with lots of muesli! It's so much better with muesli as well as oats.

Everytime I stand infront of the stove and make our porridge, I think of my Dad, and how he taught me to make it just right. With the right balance of each of the ingredients, spooned into the saucepan. Then after it's served, adding a raw or brown sugar sprinkling to the top of it. Mmm yummy.

At the time you learn these things, you don't realise how special those moments are. When your parents teach you something, that becomes a tradition through out your life. Treasure the moments.

Farts and Marriage

Husband: Oh dear god! Do not breathe through your nose!

Wife: You are so lucky that I have a cold. (As she walks away from the stench at the couch to clear the table) Else you might be signing some papers about now.

Husband: Oh my god, my nose is burning!

Wife: Well you brought it on yourself!

Tulips

On the weekend I bought some beautiful tulips, the same ones that we had at our wedding in the bridesmaids boquets and at the reception. They are a lovely brilliant orange with yellow tips. I love them. They are so perfectly rounded and structured, they are living even after they are cut. They continue to grow in the vase, like the cream ones in my boquet that grew about an inch during our wedding day. They also continue to react to light after they are cut, they sleep in the dark and open up when exposed to light.

Hard to beleive that we have been married almost a year.

Bus trip turn around

A few days after my bad bus experience post I had a great bus day! The morning didn't start that well, the guy at the newsagent still stared right through me, and my first bus driver did manage to drive into the trunk of a tree! Oh yeh, I am not joking! But that resulted in a lovely walk to the next bus stop with the little 75 year old lady who was sitting next to me on the 'tree' bus. She was visiting her daughter and was heading to central to go on a little day trip to meet a friend. She was sooo cute!

On the way home from work that evening I met another lady, she was wearing the same perfume as me and was visiting a friend in my subhurb. I also met a little old couple who required bus advice, which I am not that good at giving, but I managed this one well as they needed the same bus mine. The old guy was born in my home town and grew up on Rottnest Island! His Dad designed this open air cinema in the middle of Perth, that has now been torn down. We had a lovely chat on the way home, and I was actually dissapointed to get off the bus, when I normally rush of there like a drug addict running from the cops. (Too politically incorrect? Ok maybe, I'm sorry. I have been trying sarcasm on for size, I think that in the right scenario's that it fits.)

Colour my Betty

Two posts in one day! It must be Christmas!

I stumbled across this on the Mighty Goods online store, which has some hilarious wares. At first I couldn't beleive what I was seeing, then it all sunk in and all hell broke loose on the hilarity front.

Make sure you hang on this site long enough to read all of the clientelle endorsements. My paticular favourite is, "I didn't know I still had a Betty, thankyou for reminding me..." (Haa haa haa haa)

(P.S. Betty is such a polite name for a woman's anatomy, much more polite than my cheeseburger label.)

Terrorism Finger Puppets

For when you require that great political gift for someone special.

Find them here at mossonline.com

My public transport journey…

AM

• Usually begins by missing the green man at the traffic lights and waiting a whole cycle before I am able to cross.
• Moves on to trying to buy a “travel ten” from the newsagency, and perhaps the daily paper. From a man who appears to be blind and doesn’t see me standing right in front of him dangling the paper and a $10.00 note. He could also try smiling once in a while so he seems more like a human being and less like a terracotta warrior.
• Continues with me standing at the bus stop, either being sprayed by a high pressure hose seeking to remove last nights vomit from the sidewalk, and/or being harassed by the possible owner of said vomit as he looms in front of me and try’s to crack on to me. Me responding to his dribble by saying, “I do not want to talk to you” Sounds cruel I know, but you have to cut him off at the pass because if you smile politely he may follow you to work.
• Then I get on the bus and stand like a sardine, pressed up against a rather unattractive male who attempts to look down my top, or read the newspaper over my shoulder. If I am lucky enough to get a seat it will be next to a high school student yelling at her girlfriend down the phone, “Oh my God, did you see what Chantal was wearing yesterday? Oh my god, we so can’t talk to her anymore.” (Please tell me that I didn’t sound like that in high school!)
• Another passenger yelling at the bus driver, for no reason other than they haven’t had their morning fix of coffee yet, and the bus driver didn’t think to read there mind and stop when they didn’t physically push the stop button.
• I then depart bus A and head for bus B, which I squeeze onto amongst throngs of uni students. Though this trip is getting easier the further into the semester they get, and realise that they don’t want to go to uni anymore, or don’t want to sit in that lecture. Yay for me!
• Get off the bus and grab a coffee before getting to the office and scrubbing the public transport germs off my hands. “Aaah, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off!” (aka Eliot from Scrubs style)

PM
Usually much of the same, yet in reverse, but sometimes deviates slightly to involve the following:

• Bus driver not letting me and a 75 year old man on the bus because he has decided that he doesn’t want a full load, and also can’t be bothered opening the front door for us, only the back one to let people off. (this happened today)
• Large man with no elastic in his tracky dacks, singing on to his very loud portable radio (think he may have had a few screws loose if you know what I mean?) poor guy I felt sad for him, radio is probably his only friend. I stopped feeling sorry for him when he exposed his large butt to me as he alighted from the bus, and I “Vomited in my mouth a little.” (aka Dr Evil style)
• Speaking of vomit; realise I am beginning to feel a little car sick on the bus, and can’t figure out why, realise that a previous passenger has left a little vomit present at the back of the bus that has not yet been cleaned, stench is nauseating. Perhaps it was the same guy from the morning.

Luckily you do find enough nice bus drivers, passengers and non-butt exposing people on the public transport system that keep you from stopping taking the bus.

Snakes on a what now?

Occasionally my husband makes me watch action films, often bad ones. Let’s face is most action films are bad ones. There have been a few goodies, like Bad Boys 2 was ok, the most recent James Bond I found enjoyable, in fact I like most of the James Bond films, and so was Fifth Element (actually I love Fifth Element).

We made a visit to the dvd store on the weekend and after some browsing time, he wandered over to me (meekly) with a dvd in his hand, which one you ask? Well it was the mutha of all cr*p action films, Snakes on a Plane. When he showed me the title my entire body cringed, like it never had before. Not unlike the kind of cringe you may experience when you watch something really embarrassing happen to someone, like when they have a giant booger hanging out their nose and they don’t know it. I felt embarrassed for my husband, who was standing in public with it in his hand, recommending that we watch it (poor guy). I also I felt incredibly embarrassed for the people who made it, cause even though at the time it seemed like a money maker, just how many people are going to take them seriously now? Come to think of it, there are a lot of people out there who love sh*t movies like this, so the producers will probably be able to make something of a similar floor scraping calibre, and manage to make another truckload of cash. If only they were donating that truck load of cash to a third world country instead of buying themselves a new Mercedes, I might be more inclined to go and see more of their cr*p movies.

So Snakes on a Plane more than lived up to its reputation, as you have probably guessed by now. It was cringe worthy from beginning to end, and the song in credits, well that was the absolute icing on the cake. Which was possibly the most hideous thing that my ears have ever had to experience, even more horrible than Paris Hiltons contribution to the music industry.

The only highlight for me was seeing Samuel L Jackson, Which made me think of Pulp Fiction, all the great scenes that Tarantino constructed, how great the character development was, and how d*amn funny and memorable it was, (I have already begun forcing Snakes on a Plane out of my consciousness). I am still a little confused as to why Mr Samuel L. Jackson agreed to be in this film. Was it only to say that totally forgettable line, “I am sick of all these *beep *beep snakes on this *beep *beep plane!” (rude words are replaced with beeps so I don’t get kicked off blogger). Perhaps they should have cast Michael Jackson in his part, I definitely would have seen it at the cinema then, if only for the laughs alone. They could have had one of the snakes flick the end of his nose with it’s tongue and knock it off, like a chip from a porcelain tea cup.

For all the smokers out there...

For all the smokers out there, this site is worth a look. The Art of Quitting

Long ago I was a little bit of a smoker, what I mean by that is that I was in a foreign country and I smoked whilst I was there, in café’s, on the train, in super markets, in the snow, whilst drinking coffee in Amsterdam. It was all very romantic, but in the end I came home, and I decided to stop. I haven’t smoked in ages, years now and I will never smoke again, it was a romance for a while, but it wasn’t meant to last. Also how romantic is it to wake up one day and have self inflicted lung cancer.

There is something about France…

There is something about France and all that is French (well maybe not all) that I find so attractive and enjoyable. I just finishes watching a movie set in France and it made me want to listen to Edith Piaf a much loved and admired French singer, who became a sort of icon I suppose for the French. I was introduced to Edith’s music by my Mum’s partner, and I love to pop it on and listen to her and imagine that I am sipping hot chocolate in Paris. Not that hot chocolate is particularly French, but I loved sipping hot chocolate when I was there, after visiting galleries with my Mum. Other things that I love about France are the galleries, the architecture, the history and even the people (well most of them).

My favourite movie ever is set in France, though it is directed by a Polish director. Trois couleurs: Bleu by Krzysztof Kieslowski is a magic film about liberty or as we mostly refer to it; freedom. Check it out, and whilst you are there watch the other two in the series Trois couleurs: Blanc and Trois couleurs: Rouge.

Aah, I want to go back to France for another holiday. I should learn the language first though, I am sure I would like it even better then.

International Women’s Day

Yesterday was International Women’s Day, so I thought that I should write something on this poor ole blog which is continually not being updated, due to me taking advantage of the rights and privileges that I have as a modern woman. I read an article today in the Sydney Morning Herald about women’s lib and how so many women fought for equal rights and opportunities for women in the workplace, in politics, in family life, and within society. It was a great article, and one of the things that shone out for me now is that women seem to be able to do everything, and achieve great heights in everything through pure dedication, and hard slog. We work hard to get where we want, and when we get there what do we do? We keep on working towards the next goal.

I know that in my group of girlfriends there are all high achievers, who seem to be incapable of not working hard every day of their lives. They constantly seeking perfection in all they do. They are amazing and fabulous women, and I am so lucky to have them in my life. But we all seem to have one thing in common, working so hard that we rarely give ourselves a break, and creating new dreams, goals and aims to live up to replace the ones that we have achieved. Are we incapable of resting a minute to reflect on all that we have achieved, and congratulating ourselves?

Sometimes I look at my life and I think, when will all this striving and working come to an end, when will I get to that place where all my goals have been achieved? It seems that keeping my house spick and span, having a first class honours degree, running my own business, freelancing, working part time in a studio, eating healthy, looking healthy, exercising, feeling great, looking great, being happy, striving to be the perfect wife, daughter, sister, friend, cousin, designer, woman is not enough?! Instead of just being happy that I can achieve all of the aforementioned things, I create these new goals in my head like; learning foreign languages, doing an PhD in Design and Fine Art (cause one is just not a high enough achievement), affording a great house in a great suburb, making a comfortable nest egg for a future family etc etc etc. This list grows every day, as if I didn’t have enough to achieve and manage already.

Maybe I just need to slow down, and stop adding to the list for a while, enjoy what I have achieved to date, appreciate where my decisions and hard work have gotten me, be satisfied today instead of dismissing satisfaction because I still haven’t achieved all tomorrow’s goals.

So this is my challenge to all who read this; take a minute to breath at the end of your day, and reflect on all the fabulous things you have done during the day, and all of the days leading up to that day. Remember all the goals you have already achieved, remember all of the great decisions you have already made, all of the hard work you have already done. Allow yourself to enjoy the satisfaction.

It’s like winter

It’s winter today in Sydney. Blustery, windy, with a slight chill on the breeze that is sometimes soft and sometimes buffeting. This city always has a way of making you feel insignificant, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Back in Perth, you can often feel as if you know everything, you know everyone, you can expect that it will be a sunny day the next day. But this city is humbling, it keeps you guessing. There is such a huge and dense population that you often feel dwarfed by the rush of people that come at you when the train doors open, and by the totally unexpected weather that makes you regret your choice of floaty summer tops in February. Then you sit at home in the evening, in jeans and a comfy sweater, you stare out the window at the rain and remember how much you love snuggling on the couch in winter. That’s the power of this city, it keeps showing you the things you don’t expect when you don’t expect to see them.

That distinctive smell…

I love walking around in Sydney. It’s like being at the theatre. Lots of colour, sights, great outfits, cute people, young people, old people, sad people, happy people funny people, and… that smell. Eeewww, what is that smell?! It reminds me of…poo, mixed with body odour, mixed with urine, mixed with vomit, mixed with stale alcohol, mixed with… god knows what else. A very pleasant walk can so quickly turn into nostril burn, gagging, and the need for a paper bag.

Maybe it’s just the inner city suburbs, the ones that suffer the immense influx of people all the time that have (in parts) this unbelievably disturbing smell. There really is no other way to describe it, other than it being totally disturbing. I can’t even really describe it in words, there are simply no words for that smell that so often turns a glorious walk into a rush to the nearest public restroom. Though the rest rooms may be just as bad.

What is happening to the young women of Hollywood?

I tend not to pay too much attention to Hollywood Starlets and other famous people. I don’t mind the odd flick through a Woman’s Weekly at the dentist, or the doctors, most of which tend to be several months old. But this week, it has been a bit hard to avoid the images of a desperate looking Britney Spears. A normal reaction might be to dismiss the news and not give it a second thought, which is probably what I would normally do. But the images of this poor young woman have been really haunting me. I can’t help but feel sorry for this poor girl, it seems as though she is just not coping with the complexities of her life at all.

It seems like she has lived almost a full life in her young years, having a successful career at a young age, being a party animal, getting married, having kids, and getting divorced. All in such a short amount of time, perhaps even a normal person could not cope with this.

Another, Lindsey Lohan, who also seems to be heading further down the road of a breakdown, and the recent exposure of the general oddness that was Anna Nicole Smith’s life. Clown make-up, drugs whilst pregnant? If this is true, I find this extremely scary.

Nicole Ritchie, who seems to be getting skinnier and skinnier at an alarming rate. The Olsen twins, I don’t know which, but one of them seems to not be coping well with the pressures of her life.

It seems that fame and money is not in fact the perfect scenario for these girls. Although the glamour of their lives, the red carpet, the dress ups, the money may have seemed worth it, perhaps these girls are just not able to cope with it all, or maybe it is not even what they really want for their lives. Who knows? Only them I suppose. I just hope that they recover from whatever it is causing them so much pain, and that other young women take note of their mistakes and try not to follow in their footsteps.

Every time I see this young girls, I think, “Thank goodness my life is not like theirs, I am so lucky”. I am not rich, I am not famous, but I am extremely happy, and in the grand scheme of things that is all that matters.

So I have officially returned...

So I have officially returned from the dead. Well maybe not the dead, but the constancy of 16 hours a day of work, all day, almost everyday. I have started my new part time job at a studio (which I am loving) and have been busy, busy, busy putting out several other print jobs for my own clients. Hence, the lack of writing seen here in recent times.

January was a great, but exhausting month and the beginning of February has been the same. I am hoping to be able to settle a bit more now, and have time to actually wash my hair and cut my toe nails. As I am convinced that people around me are beginning to think that I am incapable of personal hygiene. It’s funny how the little things just fly out the window when you get busy, like my anal-ness about the cleanliness of the apartment, the emptying of the over flowing washing baskets, the ironing of the shirts so that my husband has something to wear to work. You are thinking, “Why doesn’t he iron his own d*mn shirts!” The reason is this, when I see him iron a shirt my skin crawls, because he is not doing it properly d*amn-it! There is a system involved in ironing a shirt to perfection and he doesn’t use the system, and I can’t teach him “the system”, because no one can implement “the system” quite like I can! Now you are thinking “That poor guy actually chooses to be married to this crazy lady?!” Yes, yes he does, because he goes to work looking glorious in perfectly ironed shirts.

Now that I have been blabbing about “the system” I can’t even remember where I was heading with this entry. That is how passionate I am about “the system”. So I will move on to the perfection that has been our Saturday morning so far. It has involved; a glorious sleep in; several glorious coffee’s, sitting on the couch watching J-TV, reading Harper’s Bazaar, Notebook, Instyle, and the newspaper; staying in pyjamas till you reach the point of feeling guilty that you are still in them, when during the working week you would be taking your lunch break about now. Aaah, glorious!

Snoop Dog

My husband's response to news of a Snoop Dog concert:

"If I want to hear someone mumble incoherently for an hour, I'll go talk to the people in the park*"

*Note: We have a few choice characters hanging out in our local park.

Sooo Stressed

Have you even tried having a part time job and tried to run a business (which is putting out a huge publication and various websites and brochures) at the same time? If you have, I feel your pain! If you haven’t, seriously, save yourself the heart palpitations and skip it all together. It’s not worth it!

I am having a lot of fun at the moment, but I have absolutely no life! See, I am a worrier, I worry about everything. I am not kidding. I worry that a total stranger might walk up to me see a speck of dirt on my top and judge me as being an incompetent human being. So, this whole ‘so many things to do at once, multiple deadlines, working days and nights and weekends’ thing, it is becoming a little too much for my head and my little heart to deal with.

I think the key is to stop thinking about it, and just DO IT!

Aaaaaah stresssss!!!!

Significantly Slack

I have been significantly neglecting the old blog in the last few weeks, or week, in fact I cannot even remember how long ago I wrote. I do have many, many, many good reasons why, beginning with a constant stream of great visitors (who have been thoroughly distracting in a good way), me starting an new part time design job whilst still managing my own business (where I am currently designing a very in depth publication). So yes, I have been extremely, extremely busy, the last week working days and nights to get on top of the workload.

On the up side, I have really felt like I have settled into Sydney now, and I feel at home in my environment, at home, at work, and in the greater areas that we visit regularly. I am really beginning to feel like we belong here and that we can make great things happen for ourselves here.

We have begun to take a deeper look at property now, as we feel confident that we may actually be able to afford something nice over here, not like the crazy market in Perth, where we were convinced that we would be renters forever. Even though property is expensive here, we feel like we will end up being in front, and better off than if we had decided to buy in Perth.

I have really enjoyed going to an office several days a week, interacting with fellow designers and advert guru’s and contributing to a team that gives you feedback for the work that you do. I am having a great time, and I am so glad that I decided to take that step into part time work, even though it inevitably means that I will be flat out most of the time with work, often during evenings and weekends.

So yeah, all is good and I am not dead, and now that I am settling back into routine I will be a little more reliable with this.

Happy Aussie Day to all, hope you have a great day with family and friends. Party on, and think of us watching the fireworks spectacular at Darling Harbour.

She cracks me up...

Now I know it is a bit slack to link to another person's blog instead of writing an entry yourself. But this girl, she rocks my blog reading world. She is a hilarious writer and never fails to dissapoint. So if you all want to add another blog to your daily reading, choose this one. (She is a designer too!)

See it here. Her last entry is a blast, the last paragraph is my fav, nothing like the love of a realistic man.

Ok, so I know this is my third post for the day but...

Ok, so I know this is my third post for the day but...cool things just keep happening. Actually, let me rephrase that, wierd things keep happening.

Earlier today I went for a walk to the post office and on the way a man passed by me, he was readjusting himself (if you know what I mean). Now I don't have a problem with a little 'readjustment' in certain circumstances, like not when men are talking to me or looking at me, but doing it in a hidden corner with a timing of around .2 of a second. But this guy, well he had his whole hand in the trousers, was heading straight towards me on a busy inner city footpath, and the 'readjustment' lasted about...however long it took him to walk 50 metres. Which is waaaayyyy longer than the previous .2 second time limit. I was horrified!

Just now, actually about ten minutes ago, a woman stood directly under my apartment window and dropped her dacks in the middle of the footpath, on a busy Friday night, in a street filled with people. Then she yelled "I am going to vomit!" All I could think was, 'Please, please, please go away, as I don't think I can take seeing your g-string clad a*se as well as your vomit'.

Now I didn't think I was really prudish, but after being exposed to 2 counts of 'readjustment' by both men and women, one involving naked a*se, I have decided that I am a total prude. Though, I am looking forward to the Madri Gras in March, thought any 'readjustments' there I expect would all be made in jest.

I know this sounds insensitive...

I know that this sounds insensitive...but...God there are some dero's in our area! I mean, seriously we live in a melting pot of dero!

Buds

Sunlight

The Funniest Photo I have ever seen!

This has to be the funniest photo I have ever seen. What a shocker! What do you think he's thinking about? I bet something along the lines of, "Man I look hot in this off the shoulder number, this oughtta bring in the ladies!".

I was searching for images for work and came across this one when I searched for 'Male' 'Portrait'. The picture is called "good guy in Siberia", let's hope the both him and the photographer are frozen before they make any more photographic evidence like this!

Happy New Year!

After only a couple of minutes home I hear my first siren, and after an hour or so my first domestic dispute since returning from our New Years trip. Aah the serenity. There’s nothing like a nice afternoon filled with sirens, screaming and smashed glass to make you feel right at home again.

Happy New Year to all, hope that you had a hoot of a time and didn’t have to bad a hangover yesterday.