Friday, December 29, 2006

Barking & New Years Eve

Every night at about 10pm a group of people stand in the park across from our apartment for about 2 hours and let their dogs bark at each other. The dogs bark and bark and bark, for TWO HOURS! All I have to say is FFS why don’t you just take them off their leads and let them kill each other! At least then I will be able to sit on my couch in peace and then lay on my bed and sleep in peace!

I love dogs, I am a dog person, I wish I had a dog, but we live in an apartment and that would just not be fair on the poochy. But if I had a dog I would put the d*mn thing through some training so it doesn’t bark for TWO HOURS every night. Another thing! How about not walking the d*mn dog with all your friends and their d*mn dogs at 10PM at night! How bout that?!

Well…now that I have that off my chest, I hope that everyone has an amazing New Years Eve! Just make sure you don’t build it up too much, cause if you do, you will be disappointed, expectations are a fungal rot on a New Years Eve. Instructions are as follows; go with the flow, say yes to everything (except cheating on spouses and drugs), drink and be merry, make sure you kiss someone you love at midnight!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

...not very xmassy

"You may not want to go into the bathroom for a while"

"Why's that?"

"All that rich Christmas eating has caught up with me"

"Oh God...can you put the fan on or something"

"Well it's not really pongy, more just looks gross"

"Well, that's what the flush button is for love"

"Oh yeh"

Saturday, December 23, 2006

God, He/She

Yesterday, I met with my God mother in the city for a catch up, I had not seen her in about 2 years so it was nice to have a bit of a chat and catch up on what both of us had been doing. She has always taken her position as my spiritual guide and support very seriously, and always asks me how my faith is doing. Well, well, well, that is an interesting question as I recently got married in a garden by a celebrant, with no mention of religion what so ever. So obviously I have not turned out the perfect Roman Catholic that perhaps my parents originally intended. Not that my parents are ridiculously active in the Roman Catholic Church, my mother definitely isn’t and my Dad is more of a fan of the Anglicans.

She is really a lovely woman, my momentary visits from her over the years have always been enjoyable, and I know that despite the fact that we haven’t spent heaps of time together throughout my life, that she loves me. I know that she tries to reserve judgement on me not being an active Christian, and perhaps the reality that I don’t even know that I believe in organised religion. I think I do however deep down inside believe in God, or whatever he/she is, and whatever he/she is supposed to do or mean to our human existence. I don’t believe that he/she created the world though. All that creation in seven days stuff has always seemed a bit to unrealistic to me, even when I was young and impressionable. The thing is, I still celebrate Christmas and Easter, god knows why (pardon the pun) as I don’t believe in Christ/Jesus. Well maybe there was a guy who was a do-gooder who was born and dedicated his life to helping the sick and the poor, like Mother Teresa, though I have a feeling being a nun she was inspired by this guy.

See, the whole concept of faith and belief seems to be so important to us humans, like believing in ourselves, and each other is not enough. That thinking that we can be in charge of our own destiny is not good enough, and dealing with the consequences of our own actions without passing blame to a cause is not possible. This is why I have such a hard time thinking/talking about religion, because it seems to me that people heavily/partially involved in religion seem to be incapable of shaping their own destiny, making decisions on their own, or capable of reigning themselves in when they misbehave, always asking their respective God/s for forgiveness instead of asking for it from the people they have hurt or even from themselves.

I think that young people (well I suppose I can only speak for myself here) are totally terrified by organised religion. After all, what do we see all the time around us? People committing mass atrocities against other people and doing it in the name of their God and religion. Whoever God is I am sure that he/she would not be happy with people enforcing their ideals through violence onto others, unless of course he/she is a nasty b*astard, who knows? So many wars, killing sprees, cultural take-overs, deprivation of civil rights take place everyday in the name of religion, and churches wonder why people are so opposed to religion these days? Just look at the entire of human history, yesterday, today and what horrible things people will do tomorrow in the name of religion.

I have heard many people tell me that Christianity in particular teaches people morals and values, but I don’t know whether that is necessarily true, I think that you learn these things from the people that surround you, and the people who love you, like parents, grandparents, extended family, friends, sisters, brothers, and partners. I have learnt more about life, love, care and support from my family than any church could have taught me. So I suppose I do believe in a sort of religion…the religion of family and friends, and the richness of love and humour that these special people bring to my life.

After my coffee date with my godmother I went to the Art gallery and then wandered back through a park towards home. Some gothy teenage boys were hanging under a huge fig tree in the park, and they yelled at me “Merry Christmas” then following that “I hate Christ”. I didn’t really feel anything after I heard that, no need to defend this Christ, whoever he was. How do we know he even existed anyway, but through stories that were written in a book by a collection of human beings. This is all we know of any God, through collections of historical material, all created by men and women. So how do we know it was true at all? Can science tell us? Can the believers convince us? Maybe it’s all to do with the human need to have faith in something, anything, a being that oversees and protects, and an institution that delivers the so called message from that being to the lowly parishioner. I wonder what would happen if we stopped believing in churches, religion, in a god, and started believing in ourselves, and our fellow man?

Well, for what it’s worth, Merry Christmas. Even if your not a believer, like me, perhaps we can just set this time of year aside for quality time with the ones we love.

Friday, December 22, 2006

The biggest of the smalls

I was going to leave this rant until after Xmas so as to not spoil the spirit of this time of year. But the other day I went to buy some tights at Supre and that just tipped me over the edge. I don’t know if any of you have noticed but over the past few years the sizing of women’s clothing has gone through some serious tweaking. By tweaking I mean that what used to be a size 8 or 10 is now no longer a size 8 or 10, it’s more like a 10 or 12 respectively. Now I know I shouldn’t b*tch about being a size 8/10, but when this first started happening all I could think was that I was on a slippery slope from eating too many carbs. I have never been self conscious about my body until now.

At Supre I was trying to buy a pair of brown tights, and on the pile on tights there were the following sizes; s, xs, xxs, xxxs. Seriously XXXS! That size should not exist! That size only fits stick insects and pre-pubescent 14 years old girls! What is the fashion world coming too, when a skinny girl feels bad about going shopping for clothes? Maybe I am being a drama queen, but all I can think about is how horrible must it feel to go shopping when you are a beautiful size 12, or 14? Why does the fashion world deem it necessary to make beautiful women with realistic body shapes feel bad about themselves, after all aren’t these the majority of the buyer market? The cannot seriously be that many stick insects in this world that require an entire fashion market to cater to them.

What is the fashion world coming to? Why are they alienating the majority of their market? Doesn’t seem like smart marketing to me.

P.S Happy Birthday Mamma.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

A Hug

When I watched this I got tingles all over. If only we would all open ourselves up to this idea a little more. In this crazy, uptight, scary world we all tend to walk past each other as if the other doesn't exist, or the other person is going to molest us. How did we all get so terrified of each other? I am a prime example of this, I walk down the street clutching my purse, glancing suspiciously at every passerby like they are all out to get me. I am sure they all stare back at me with the same suspicion, especially when I am wearing one of my crazy outfits.

I think that this was filmed in Sydney, so next time I go into the city I will have to look out for this guy, and give him a hug.

Check it out here.

Friday, December 15, 2006


I have been feeling very reflective in the last few of days, to allow my brain to catch up with our new life, and all of its new challenges. My poor old brain and heart have taken a beating over the last year really, not necessarily a beating in a bad way, perhaps a description would be ‘a workout’. Yes, ‘a workout’ is definitely what I have experience in the heart and the head department in the past year.

This time a year ago I was working for a design studio, and since then I have:
  • Left my job
  • Dealt with various family crisis (sad face)
  • Started my own business from scratch
  • Got married (happy face)
  • Moved into a shared office, where I learnt heaps and had heaps of fun.
  • Moved out of a shared office (sad face)
  • Moved across country, which resulted in losing all physical contact with my best friends, family and newly discovered design guru’s.
  • Realised that perhaps I wasn’t as profitable in my business as I wished (fair go though, it’s only been 9 months since I started it)
  • Realised that without work face-to-face contact and separation from loved ones, I have in fact become…a loner…oh yes.
Mmm, yes. I know what you are thinking, “poor little brain, poor little heart”. I know that I have my husband here with me in this new town, and believe me he really is my best friend in the whole world. But…each of us need other things/people in our lives other than each other. Unfortunately we have long ago left behind that completely amateur idea/reality of a relationship where all you want to do, is spend time with your partner 24/7. I know, and he knows that this is not healthy for a person’s brain, and heart. We can support and look after each other without being permanently attached at the hip.

So…do I have a plan. Oh yes! I have a plan! I am setting the wheels in motion…perhaps when the time is right I will share the details.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Pain in the neck

A few times in my life I have been punished for being a woman when I have been drying my hair. Oh yes, I put my neck out whilst drying my hair! Now it could be that perhaps I don’t have a great chair or posture when working, perhaps my neck got cold last night with the fan blowing on it, and perhaps I should not dry my hair with such vigour. Either way I am now stuck half laying down, with hot packs all over my back and neck, pumped up on antiinflammatory’s and trying to gently stretch my neck and back. I feel like an invalid and the only thing that seems to be becoming more certain is that soon, I may not be able to move…at all.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Classic Comment

My husbands response to an Idol Teeny Bopper Singer on a commercial radio station:

"It's like someone just shat in my ear."

We are made for each other.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

New Neighbours

Now that we have moved we have a whole new set of neighbours, of which we can regularly hear turning on and off light switches inside their apartments. Welcome to apartment living, where if you are lucky you won’t hear your downstairs neighbours fart! Speaking of farts, and the downstairs neighbour. He really likes garlic, and I mean really really really likes garlic. How do I know this? Well every lunch time I smell this really intense garlic smell, like I am myself wrapped in a giant garlic clove. Now I know I am occasionally prone to exaggeration, but I am not exaggerating this time, I promise. The guy must put at least 15-20 cloves into whatever he makes for his meals! Ok maybe 15-20 is a bit of an exaggeration, but the garlic is making my eyes water and we live on different floors, so I am guessing that he is using quite a bit of the stuff. I am also guessing that even though I haven’t heard him fart as yet, that he must be letting a heap of those go, and I am thankful that they are not seeping up through my floor and into my nostrils. This may also explain why the guy is still single. Ok, so I don’t know for sure that he’s single, but I have never seen a woman/man (you have to have an open mind, this is Sydney after all) go into his apartment, and with all the garlic I am pretty convinced that they never would.

I suppose Garlic Guy could also be trying to ward off vampires! You never know, you have to keep an open mind, after all this is Sydney! So really I should be sending him a little thankyou card with the words “Thanks for keeping the vampires away with all the garlic, our families thank you for protecting their loved ones” Aah neighbours, neighbours, neighbours. We did end up seeing our old neighbour in Perth one last time, the one that we thought was dead. She was in fact not dead, but backing her car out of her drive, after she had removed all of the plant growth that had engulfed her wheels of course.

We do have another neighbour; she is not in our building but the one behind ours. She religiously practices her violin everyday and it is so lovely. I can regularly be seen taking out the trash, then holding my nose to block out its smell, and prancing about the back alley listening to her swooning violin playing. She’s really very good.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I love my husband...

A great email that I received from my husband the other day...

hi lovey, how you doing?


looked at those mac computers very quickly this morning. seems we could get a 20" one for ~$2,100. We can look again in April/May to check pricing and whether they have ironed out the bugs. you should find out if there is a forum or whatever that updates the issues on the move to the new processors.

He's great!

Friday, December 01, 2006

She’s coming tomorrow!

Tomorrow one of my girlfriends arrives to stay with us for a few days, and I am super excited. Also I have this un-nerving compulsion to scrub my apartment from top to bottom, drive to Ikea and buy little frames to put up all the pictures I was going to attend to later, go and buy some Christmas paper and make decorations, baste a turkey, scrub the apartment from top to bottom again. It’s not that the apartment is dirty at all, I cleaned it on Monday and I do general cleaning every chance I get during the day, it’s just that I have this ingrained need to have everything perfect when people visit us. It’s not that my friend will even mind, she won’t at all, it’s just that I will worry that the house is not perfect and will passive aggressively torture myself if it’s not. Damn these OCD Italian cleaning genes!

Sooo, this afternoon I will drive out to the shopping centre and get some flowers, some stuff from Lindcraft and a paper shop to make my house look even more perfect than it already looks! (Oh dear, I really do worry about myself sometimes!) I am worried about killing myself on the way to the shopping centre though, as I have not yet driven over here and I am worried that all the Sydney scary drivers will ram me like the insane taxi driver did a couple of weeks ago. See I just can’t risk that kind of stress as my head may explode if the car gets ruined in addition to there being one speck of dust on the coffee table.

So despite all the torture that I will inevitably put myself through today, to ensure that the house is perfect, I am still super excited about my friend coming over here! I have really missed my girlfriends!

P.S Mental note: do not paint nails in enclosed spaces like I did this morning. When you paint your nails in an apartment the size of a shoebox it is important to open a window so that your husband doesn’t come home and find you shrivelled up dead on the floor from the nail polish fumes. Nail polish poisoning…another side effect of having everything anally perfect, including your fingernails.