Bhuja Crisps

Last night when my husband and I arrived home there was a large box at our front door step, which turned out to be a belated wedding present from a group of people that he used to work with. We opened the box with excitement to find a truckload of goodies inside! Delicious snacks, oils, marmalades, coffee, beer, chocolates and many more yummy treats, all gourmet of course!

Our little eyes lit up with joy (mainly due to the fact that we were both starving and the exciting prospect of gorging ourselves on these gourmet snacks as opposed to having to cook dinner was on our minds). As we were fossicking through, I came across some funny crispy like biscuits, that kind of look like those little dried Japanese crackers, and they were called…wait for it…Bhuja Crisps! Now I know you are thinking “Whatever! They are just crisps!” But if you pronounce the crisps the way I like to pronounce them you get Boooyhaaa Crisps! Which in our ravenous state we found absolutely hilarious, so much so that we took photos of the Boooyhaaa Crisps, to preserve their memory of course!

Now you are thinking “Oh dear, you sad sad panda’s”, but look we are married, ok, this is like the most exciting thing that has happened to us all week! Haa haa, only kidding hon.

The Wedding Album

On the weekend my husband and I went to see our wedding photographer. It was amazing, his photos were beautiful, every single one of them. We spent four hours there, designing the album, whichwe have had to make much longer than originally intended. Which is going to cost us an absolute fortune! Literally, a fortune!

If we chop out some of the photos we risk losing a part of the story, which is how we have tried to put together the album, it captures moments in time throughout the story of our day. There is the toss-up of; do we spent the money and treasure these memories properly; or do we cut it down to save money and not really be happy with the final outcome?

We decided that you can’t put a price on memories. This was a really significant day for us and we want to be able to show our children how magical a day it was for us, and not forget those special moments that we had with each other and all of those that celebrated it with us.

Aaah love, marriage, money …memories. I loved our wedding day; I will always remember it with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. I love you hubberoona.

Internet Drug / Eye Twitch

Have you ever had one of those moments where you think you might just burst into tears, in the middle of the office (or anywhere for that matter)? When you try to think positively, thinking, things cannot possibly get worse than this…and then they do?! Yesterday and this morning has been a huge collection of those moments!

I have gotten a lot better over the last few months in fixing technical computer mishaps, I have begun to understand a lot more about the processes involved, particularly when it comes to the setting up of airport networks, email accounts etc. (I know you are thinking “So what! I can build an f-ing computer”, but for me this new found knowledge has been a huge achievement). So on Tuesday the airport in my office chucked a sad, meaning that I could not access the Internet (something which I am addicted too, for both personal and professional reasons). I was too confused and tired on Tuesday to fix it, so yesterday I began the (so-called) easy task of following instructions and fixing the airport network. After trying every possible rule and solution to fix it I thought, “It’s ok, I’ll just wait till the owner of the airport comes in, she set it up, and her computer may be the one that needs to be used in order to fix these issues” (I sound calm enough here, but my eye had begun to twitch).

So the owner and I spent the next four hours or so going through the motions and trying to work out what the f**k was wrong with the d*mn airport. After this amount of time both of us had incessantly twitching eyes, and we looked at each other in bewilderment…and gave up. I went home and continued working from there, and when that Internet connected first time, by golly I felt like an addict after not being able to shoot up for several days (not that I know what that feels like, I am a good girl remember)

This morning I came into the office dismissing the fact that the airport even existed and plugged myself via Ethernet into a colleagues’ blessed router! Aaahh, that rush again, as the Internet started up and I got my daily fix of Dooce goodness. I am so excited about this automatic win with the Internet connection that I madly begin catching up on some emails, but they won’t send! I can receive, but I CAN’T SEND! (i.e. Sex and the City “She can reach me! But I can never reach her!) Then I realise, you silly girl, you have to enter all of the account details in the email in order to access it. So we did that and it didn’t work, we did all the right things and it didn’t work, we did EVERYTHING and it didn’t work. So I consulted my regular Nerdy types and they assisted me in a very efficient and helpful manner, and it STILL DIDN’T WORK!

By this time my eye is twitching so much that it may have fallen out, my eyes were welling up and I thought that I might never be able to send an email from my office again!

Then my colleague (a.k.a. genius of the email software) returned from his meeting and said, “Just delete that new email account you created and make a new one, that one has probably corrupted”…and…IT WORKED! Another Internet (not drug) induced rush!

I AM BACK! EMIAL AND INTERNET RETURNED! EYE TWITCHING, NO MORE!

msn 21.06.06

(A)
raah
almost had no work done today as the airport in freo in f**ked!!!
will have to work tonight to make up for it
am at home now
see you at 5:30pm

(B)
i thought u were trying to scare me

(A)
i was, did u jump??

(B)
it worked, i peed a little

(A)
lol, you got spare undies at work??

(B)
no i smell like pee now

(A)
eewwwwww
u want me to bring you some?? (lol)

(B)
nah, i am getting used to the smell

(A)
what about the boss??
has he looked at you funny yet??

(B)
nah, he can deal with it

(A)
he must have lost all senses in his nose already from your farty's

(B)
stfu b**ch

(A)
hee hee just kidding

(B)
bye

(A)
bye ?

Higgledy Piggledy

I don’t know about everyone else but I have certain experiences/things in my life that I react to in a very strong way. What I mean is, that after I do the dishes I have to wipe every part of my sink, bench and stovetop to remove any droplets of water. When the wind blows my hair in my mouth I have this knee-jerk reaction where I feel like I may vomit if I don’t get it out (AAH GET IT OUT!) If I see that the coffee table has the TV Guide and remotes just laying higgledy-piggledy, I have this underlying twitch that forces me to walk over and straighten it all up. I have the tendency to think that our house is a pigsty, and my husband looks at me, lift's an eyebrow, and says, “Are you kidding? It’s spotless!” If I stall the car at the traffic lights, I want to shrivel up into a peanut and hope that no-one saw that stupid woman, who after three years of driving, should be able to find the balance between her accelerator and clutch. Because I feel that after this amount of time I should be able to drive with absolute precision…mmm maybe I am a perfectionist…MAYBE??!!

I also tend to try and better the order in which I do things in the morning to optimise the time that I can spend in the shower and moisturise my entire body so that I don’t dry up like an old prune (I get very dry skin in the winter, not that everyone needed/wanted to know that).

So, the question is…am I OCD?! Or am I just like everyone else, who has their weird little rituals and phobia’s that help them get through the day?

Italian Guilt

This morning I was raring to go to the gym but woke up and my entire body was aching! How inconvenient! I was a revved up last night for this week, I packed my work bag, my gym bag, went to bed nice and early to get a great sleep, but my body has let me down. I was going to go into work late this morning as I couldn’t do the groceries on the weekend as I was setting up my Mother in-Law’s 50th, but after that I was going to roar down to Freo and get on with things. The gym? Well the alarm went off at 5:45am and I was going to head out to pump some iron (little irons). But...I could not move!

Bodies are funny things, and lately I have realised that I don’t really take care of mine as much as I should do, particularly when it comes to exercising and also relaxing. I don’t do enough quality exercise and I don’t do enough quality relaxing. The exercise thing I have no excuse for as I have a gym membership, and the gym really close to my house. The relaxing thing…well, that is the Italian guilt!

Let me explain…part of my Mum’s family is Italian and all of the women in her family seem to have this inability to slow down, relax, and let go of the fact that there is one speck of dust on the otherwise perfect hardwood floor. See, we all have a cleaning disorder! Not because we can’t clean, but because we can’t stop cleaning. I remember when I was a teenager I used to laugh as my Mum ran around cleaning her house like crazy before her mother came over (or the cleaner arrived) and now, I do the same thing when my mother comes round, or anyone else for that matter! If we eventually are satisfied with the cleaning we start with the sorting and the chucking out of junk. So we do have perfect homes, but no time to relax, or exercise.

I actually find my eye begins to twitch if I have a load of dirty dishes, or if I see a mark on the floor. But the killer for me is dust! I will one day be able to combat dust! But at the moment it is beating my head against the tile floor. I have tried wet cloths andnormal dusters, now I am onto those dusters that actually “grab” the dust. I also have electro-static dusting cloths that suck the dust into their clutches (and they smell like orange…mmmmm…orange)

So the above cleaning disorder, driven by Italian guilt (that your house is your temple and it should never be dirty) is the reason why I can’t relax, and possibly the reason that I am so achy today. As this weekend I experienced Italian guilt in my home and also in my in-laws home as I cleaned before the 50th party. Mmmm, perhaps I can have the Italian guilt exorcised out of me?

Rejection

You know it’s funny how one thing can bring you down from being so high and having a great day. When you are so convinced that something will turn out and then it doesn’t. I suppose I shouldn’t have such high expectations of every situation, but then I would become negative, but then again I would avoid disappointment. A catch 22?

I lost an opportunity to do a job because someone quoted less than my totally reasonable quote. I know that I would have done an excellent job, it would have been well researched and tightly designed, with great attention to detail. I also know that if someone quoted less than me (my quote was quite cheap in design standards) that they most definitely could not be doing the job properly. I only know this because they would have had to cut down on several elements of the process, either in research, concepts, design and refinements time. Which will mean that the client will probably end up with a sub-standard outcome. Which I think upsets me more than loosing the opportunity. The fact that the client, who is so passionate about this project, will end up with a dud, but won’t realise until it’s all too late and their project flops, or doesn’t thrive liked they dreamed.

Oh well, what can you do? Nothing…and hope that something else comes along to fill the hole where that project would have been.

Why do we have to schedule our p**ty tang? Because Australia is playing Japan honey!

Last night Australia played Japan in the World Cup, though I don’t know why I am pointing that out as everyone will inevitably know unless they had their head under a rock for the last week. It was a good game, but it didn’t go well for quite a while, and I was convinced that I would have a very grumpy husband to deal with after the game. It’s funny how an Australian team loss is somehow comparable to the funeral of a loved one, and a win means that everyone is more excited than if they were attending a wedding or birth of a child.

In last nights game there was much face contorting which I found hilarious, and much yelling at the screen and verbal encouragement of the guys, which I am sure they could hear all the way in Germany!! I always find it funny to l see/hear screen yellers. Do they realise that no one, except their soon to be deaf partners/housemates can hear them?

Luckily Australia came to the party at the end of the game and scored 3 goals in the last 8-10 minutes. Thankyou Tim Cahill you have saved me from grumpy husband disorder.

I used your head as a remote boat while you were sleeping

Last night my husband and I planned a nice evening together, we had a lovely meal at home, he gave me a shoulder massage and then we chilled on the couch and watched the World Cup. Generally I am not interested in watching any kind of sport, but the soccer is ok, and I especially enjoy looking at my husband’s contorted face when something goes wrong in the game or someone misses a close goal. I was so exhausted that after about 10 minutes of WorldCup goodness and face contortion I literally passed out, effectively turning our night together into a night where he watches sports and laughs at me dribbling in my sleep. You could say we are pretty comfortable with each other.

This made me think about all of the things that happen when you get too comfortable in a relationship, I think you know you have reached this stage when:
o You feel you can break wind in the presence of your lover.
o You are soaking their shirts in Napisan, and take pleasure at being able to get out the pit stains.
o You look forward to spending your Sunday night watching a DVD and getting through the large ironing pile made up of those same shirts.
o You get horny when you see your partner doing housework, because you are so excited that its happening (we will
re-address this topic at a later date)
o Your partner uses your head as a remote boat while you are passed out on the couch.

Aspergillus??

MSN Conversation (note this conversation has been edited to protect those partaking and those they were discussing)

Person A
There is something on the list called Faecal Occult Blood WTF???? What do you reckon that means???!!!!!

Person B
Ewewewew

Person A
Ya. Sick as a doggggggggg. Gonnnaaa vommmm

Person B
Ew

Person A
Did you know that it would cost you $86 to have poo tested !!
ffs
lol
Would you like an Aspergillus Check of the urine??
lol
It's like a different language !!

Person B
haa haa haa
ewwww

Person A
Aspergillus
Oh my god…this is killer…what a classic…under the reproduction section…there is a pregnancy test called
"Relaxin B*tch Pregnancy Test”!!!!!!!
rofl
I am tearing up, this is great.

Person B
Hahahaha
That's f**kin hilarious

Person A
lol

Glad to be back with his Wifemon

My husband arrived home last night about an hour late as his plane was delayed, and he looked happy but exhausted. He told me that he really missed his Wifemon (nickname for me based on Pokemon). It was so great to see him, I suppose you don’t realise how much you appreciate having someone around till they are gone. I know it’s pathetic, and that it was one night, but it felt weird, it was the first night we have spent apart since we got married.

It is great to have sleep hugs, which is actually what I missed the most. I think the Artist formerly known as Subby Hubby (alias; Lasagne Goddess), would have found it a bit strange if I cuddled up to her on Wednesday night like I do with him.

Aah the comfort of a strong relationship with someone is so relaxing for the soul.

My Subby Hubby and I

My husband has gone on his first business trip, only for two days and one night in the middle, but I figured that I should have a stand in Husband while he was gone. So one of my girlfriends stayed over last night, as my Subby Hubby. And I have got to say…the really hubby has a lot to live up to now!

We had a fantastic evening, of lasagne, wine, chats, girly movies. The lasagne was cooked up for me, and I am eating the leftovers now, and it is …well…divine! The wine was delicious and the instalment of Diane Keaton in The Family Stone was perfection.

Interesting. See, last night gave me a little of an idea of what it would be like to live with a woman, and although I am not attracted to women, the lifestyle I experienced yesterday evening is definitely something I could get used to. No offence to all the guys out there, but your attention to detail in the kitchen cleanliness department is generally not that crash hot, with a woman on the other hand my kitchen was left spotless. There were no crumbs left on the bench and no spots of water on the sink (it has to be spot free da*mnit!).

Mmm…how do you go about getting a guy to do all that without sounding like you are trying to change/nag him??

Haa haa I called it a BLOB

Haa haa I just realised that at the beginning of the last entry I called the blog a blob! See that's how unobservant I am with spelling, and I wrote a 44,000 words thesis!

666 & Got to get back into the rythym (spelling)

Firstly apologies about the possible misspelling above, after all I am a designer and I do normally just insert the content I am thrown. :) Also I don’t even know if there is misspelling there or not, that’s how crap I am at spelling.

I have been really quite slack when it has come to this blob lately, there have been many opportunities for entries but lets just say this, I couldn’t be a*sed logging on. It is a pity though as life is constantly full of funny little stories that I feel I should share, even though most likely, no one reads this.

We just had a long weekend here in Perth, thought being decidedly ignorant I have no idea what the public holiday is for. In fact I didn’t even know there was a public holiday on Monday, till last Friday. That’s jut how out of the loop I am with the big wide world. My “out of the loop-ness” draws from the fact that I now boycott the news on a regular basis, as (a) it has become to depressing and I often feel like shooting myself afterwards or having my tubes tied so as to not expose children to this world, and (b) I fee like the news has turned into a huge circus act of sensationalism, which only makes point (a) even worse.

The long weekend was lovely! Although we had so much time we did no housework. Though I did all of the washing, about a 50 tonne of ironing, the groceries, and we planted some rosemary along our front fence. The plants are really small, and we want them to grow into a hedge, but I have a feeling that it will take a good 5 years for this to happen, so we will just have to live with crappy little shrubs.

It is currently 3pm on Tuesday, and I appear to have reached my limit work wise, I feel like I have a long weekend hangover. All of that lazing around the house and sleeping in seems like a lifetime away as I sit here in the office in Fremantle. But don’t be fooled! I love my job and I love coming to work, but today I forgot my wallet (due to long weekend hangover) and since then I have felt all out of sorts, oooowwww and I just burnt my tongue on my coffee and almost choked on it. I just feel like I am living in a blur today.

Today also is the 6.6.06 and many people seemed to be concerned with this being D-day, the devil’s day. I am not much of a believer in mumbo jumbo like this, I tend to suppress being suspicious otherwise I would not sleep at night, and would imagine that there was a tiny devil creature dancing on my bed head. Every morning (actually every time I get in the car) I listen to Triple J Radio, and this morning they had people ringing up identifying parts of their morning which were consistent with the coming of the devil (all jokes of course but some good stories). One guy was driving behind a car with 666 as the number plate, there were many other stories, I believe that the devil stole my wallet and that’s why I had to bum $3.50 for parking of a stranger.